WHAT THE OLD MAN DOES IS RIGHT

I will tell you a story which was told to me when I was a little boy．Every time I thought of the story，it seemed to me to become more and more charming；for it is with stories as it is with many people—they become better as they grow older．

I take it for granted that you have been in the country，and seen a very old farm-house with a thatched roof，and mosses and small plants growing wild upon the thatch．There is a stork's nest on the summit of the gable；for we can't do without the stork．The walls of the house are sloping，and the windows are low，and only one of the latter is made so that it will open．The baking-oven sticks out of the wall like a little fat body．The elder tree hangs over the paling，where there is a little pool of water with a duck or ducklings，right under the gnarled willow tree．There is a yard dog too，who barks at all comers．

Just such a farm-house stood out in the country；and in this house dwelt an old couple—a peasant and his wife．Small as was their property，there was one article among it that they could do without—a horse，which made a living out of the grass it found by the side of the high road．The old peasant rode into the town on this horse；and often his neighbors borrowed it from him，and rendered the old couple some service in return for the loan of it．But they thought it would be best if they sold the horse，or ex-changed it for something that might be more useful to them．But what might this something be？

“You'll know that best，old man，”said the wife．“It is fair-day today，so ride into town，and get rid of the horse for money，or make a good exchange：whichever you do will be right to me．Ride off to the fair．”

And she fastened his neckerchief for him，for she could do that better than he could；and she tied it in a double bow，for she could do that very prettily．Then she brushed his hat round and round with the palm of her hand，and gave him a kiss．So he rode away upon the horse that was to be sold or to be bartered for something else．Yes，the old man knew what he was about．

The sun shone hot，and not a cloud was to be seen in the sky．The road was very dusty，for many people who were all bound for the fair were driving，or riding，or walking upon it．There was no shelter anywhere from the sunbeams．

Among the rest，a man was trudging along，and driving a cow to the fair．The cow was as beautiful a creature as any cow can be．

“She gives good milk，I'm sure，said the peasant．“That would be a very good exchange—the cow for the horse．”

“Hallo，you there with the cow！”he said．“Shall we two not talk a little together？I tell you what—I fancy a horse costs more than a cow，but I don't mind that；a cow would be more useful to me．If you like，we'll exchange．”

“To be sure I will，”said the man；and they exchanged accrdingly．

So that was settled，and the peasant might have turned back，for he had done the business he came to do；but as he had once made up his mind to go to the fair，he determined to proceed，merely to have a look at it；and so he went on to the town with his cow．

Leading the animal，he strode sturdily on；and after a short time，he overtook a man who was driving a sheep．It was a good fat sheep，with a fine fleece on its back．

“I should like to have that fellow，”said our peasant to himself．“He would find plenty of grass by our palings，and in the winter we could keep him in the room with us．Perhaps it would be more practical to have a sheep instead of a cow．Shall we exchange？”

The man with the sheep was quite ready，and the bargain was struck．So our peasant went．on in the high road with his sheep．

Beside a stile he saw another man，carrying a great goose under his arm．

“That's a heavy thing you have there．It has plenty of feathers and plenty of fat，and would look well tied to a string，and paddling in the water at our place．That would be something for my old woman to collect peelings for．How often she has said，‘If we only had a goose！’Now she can have one；and it shall be hers．Shall we ex-change？I'll give you my sheep for your goose，and thank you into the bargain．”

The other man had not the least objection；and accordingly they exchanged，and our peasant got the goose．

By this time he was very near the town．The crowd on the high road became greater and greater；there was quite a crush of men and cattle．They walked in the road，and close by the ditch；and at the barrier they even walked into the toll-man's potato-field，where his own fowl was strutting about with a string to its leg，lest it should take fright at the crowd，and stray away，and so be lost．This fowl had short tail-feathers，and winked with both its eyes，and looked very well．“Cluck，cluck！”said the fowl．What it thought when it said this I cannot tell you；but directly our good man saw it，he thought，“That's the finest fowl I've ever seen in my life！Why，it's finer than our parson's brood hen．On my word，I should like to have that fowl．A fowl can always find a grain or two，and can almost keep itself．I think it would be a good exchange if I could get that for my goose．”

“Shall we exchange？he asked the toll-taker．

“Exchange！”repeated the man；“well，that would not be a bad thing．”

And so they exchanged；the toll-man at the barrier kept the goose，and the peasant carried away the fowl．

Now，he had done a good deal of business on his way to the fair，and he was hot and tired．He wanted something to eat，and a glass of brandy to drink；and soon he was in front of the inn．He was just about to step in，when the ostler came out，so they met at the door．The ostler was carrying a sack．

“What have you in that sack？”asked the peasant．

“Rotten apples，”answered the ostler；“a whole sackful for the pigs．”

“Why，that's a terrible quantity！I should like my old woman at home to see that sight．Last year the old tree by the turf-house only bore a single apple，and we kept it in the cupboard till it was quite rotten and spoiled．‘It was always property，'my old woman said；but here she could see a quantity of property．Yes，I shall be glad to show them to her．”

“What will you give me for the sackful？”asked the ostler．

“What will I give？I will give my fowl in exchange．”

And he gave the fowl accordingly，and received the apples，which he carried into the guest-room．He leaned the sack carefully by the stove，and then went to the table．But the stove was hot：he had not thought of that．Many guests were present—horse-dealers，cattle-dealers，and two Englishmen—and they are so rich that their pockets are bursting with gold coins；and they could bet，too，as you shall hear．

Hiss-s-s！Hiss-s-s！What was that by the stove？The apples were beginning to roast！

“What is that？”

Well，they soon got to know that，and the whole story of the horse that he had changed for a cow，and all the rest of it，down to the apples．

“Well，your old woman will give it you well when you get home！”said one of the two Englishmen．“There will be a disturbance．”

“I will get a kiss and not a pounding，”said the peasant．“My wife will say，‘ What the old man does is always right．’”

“Shall we wager？”said the Englishman．“We'll wager coined gold by the bushel—a hundred pounds to the hundredweight！”

“A bushel will be enough，”replied the peasant．“I can only set the bushel of apples against it；and I'll throw myself and my old woman into the bargain—and I fancy that's piling up the measure．”

“Done—taken！”

And the bet was made．The host's carriage came up，and the Englishmen got in，and the peasant got in；away they went．and soon they stopped before the peasant's hut．

“Good evening，old woman．”

“Good evening，old man．”

“I've made the exchange．”

“Yes，you understand what you're about，”said the woman．

And she embraced him，and forgot both the sack and the strangers．

“I got a cow in exchange for the horse，”said he．

“Heaven be thanked for the milk！”said she．“Now we shall have milk-food，and butter and cheese on the table！That was a most capital exchange！”

“Yes，but I changed the cow for a sheep．”

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“Ah，that's better still！”cried the wife．“You always think of everything：we have just pasture enough for a sheep．Ewe's milk and cheese，and woollen jackets and stockings！The cow cannot give those，and her hairs will only come off．How you think of everything！”

“But I changed away the sheep for a goose．”

“Then this year we shall really have a Martinmas goose to eat，my dear old man，You are always thinking of something to give me pleasure．How charming that is！We can let the goose walk about with a string to her leg，and she'll grow fatter still before Martinmas．”

“But I gave away the goose for a fowl，”said the man．

“A fowl？That was a good exchange！”replied the woman．“The fowl will lay eggs and hatch them，and we shall have chickens：we shall have a whole poultry-yard！Oh，that's just what I was wishing for．”

“Yes，but I exchanged the fowl for a sack of rotten apples．”

“What！—I must positively kiss you for that，”exclaimed the wife．“My dear，good husband！Now I'll tell you something．Do you know，you had hardly left me this morning before I began thinking how I could give you something very nice this evening．I thought it should be pancakes with savoury herbs．I had the eggs；but I wanted herbs．So I went over to the schoolmaster's—they have herbs there，I know—but the school mistress is a mean woman．I begged her to lend me a handful of herbs．‘Lend！'she answered me；‘nothing at all grows in our garden，not even a rotten apple．I could not even lend you that．’But now I can lend her ten，or a whole sackful；that makes me laugh！”And with that she gave him a sounding kiss．

“I like that！”exclaimed both the Englishmen together．“Always going down-hill，and always merry；that's worth the money．”

So they paid a hundredweight of gold to the peas-ant，who was not scolded，but kissed．

Yes，it always pays，when the wife sees and al-ways asserts that her husband knows best，and that whatever he does is right．

You see，that is my story．I heard it when I was a child；and now you have heard it too，and know that “What the old man does is always right．”

老头子做事总不会错

 

现在我要告诉你一个故事。那是我小时候听来的。从那时起，我每次一想到它，就似乎觉得它更可爱。故事也跟许多人一样，年纪越大，就越显得可爱。[这真是有趣极了！]我想你一定到乡下去过吧？你一定看到过一个老农舍。屋顶是草扎的，上面零乱地长了许多青苔和小植物。屋脊上有一个鹳鸟窝，因为我们没有鹳鸟是不成的。墙儿都有些倾斜，窗子也都很低，而且只有一扇窗子是可以开的。面包炉从墙上凸出来，像一个胖胖的小肚皮。有一株接骨木树斜斜地靠着围篱。这儿有一株结结疤疤的柳树，树下有一个小水池，池里有一只母鸭和一群小鸭。是的，还有一只看家犬。它对什么来客都要叫几声。

乡下就只有这么一个农舍。这里面住着一对年老的夫妇——一个庄稼人和他的妻子。不管他们的财产少得多么可怜，他们总觉得放弃件把东西没有什么关系。比如他们的一匹马就可以放弃。它依靠路旁沟里的一些青草活着。老农人到城里去骑着它，他的邻居借它去用，偶尔帮这对老夫妇做点活，作为报酬。不过他们觉得最好还是把这匹马卖掉，或者用它交换些对他们更有用的东西。但是应该换些什么东西呢？

“老头子，你知道得最清楚呀，”老太婆说。“今天镇上是集日，你骑着它到城里去，把这匹马卖点钱出来，或者交换一点什么好东西，你做的事总不会错的。快到集上去吧。”

于是她替他裹好围巾，因为她做这件事比他能干；她把它打成一个双蝴蝶结，看起来非常漂亮。然后她用她的手掌心把他的帽子擦了几下，同时在他温暖的嘴上接了一个吻。这样，他就骑着这匹马儿走了。他要拿它去卖，或者把它换一件什么东西。是的，老头儿知道他应该怎样来办事情的。

太阳照得像火一样，天上见不到一块乌云。路上布满了灰尘，因为有许多去赶集的人不是赶着车子，便是骑着马，或者步行。太阳是火热的，路上没有一块地方可以找到荫处。

这时有一个人拖着步子，赶着一只母牛走来，这只母牛很漂亮，不比任何母牛差。

“它一定能产出最好的奶！”农人想。“把马儿换一头牛吧——这一定很合算。”

“喂，你牵着一头牛！”他说。“我们可不可以在一起聊几句？听我讲吧——我想一匹马比一头牛的价值大，不过这点我倒不在乎。一头牛对于我更有用。你愿意跟我交换吗？”

“当然我愿意的！”牵着牛的人说。于是他们就交换了。

这桩生意就做成了，农人很可以回家去的，因为他所要做的事情已经做了。不过他既然计划去赶集，所以他就决定去赶集，就是去看一下也好。因此他就牵着他的牛去了。

他很快地向前走，牛也很快地向前走。不一会儿他们赶上了一个赶羊的人。这是一只很漂亮的肥羊，非常健壮，毛也好。

“我倒很想有这匹牲口，”农人心里想，“它可以在我们的沟旁边找到许多草吃。冬天它可以跟我们一起呆在屋子里。有一头羊可能比有一头牛更实际些吧。我们交换好吗？”

赶羊人当然是很愿意的，所以这笔生意马上就成交了。于是农人就牵着他的一头羊在大路上继续往前走。

他在路上一个横栅栏旁边看到另一个人，这人臂下夹着一只大鹅。

“你夹着一个多么重的家伙！”农人说，“它的毛长得多，而且它又很肥！如果把它系上一根线，放在我们的小池子里，那倒是蛮好的呢。我的老女人可以收集些菜头果皮给它吃。她说过不知多少次：‘我真希望有一只鹅！’现在她可以有一只了。——它应该属于她才是。你愿不愿交换？我把我的羊换你的鹅，而且我还要感谢你。”

对方一点也不表示反对。所以他们就交换了；这个农人得到了一只鹅。

这时他已经走进了城。公路上的人越来越多，人和牲口挤作一团。他们在路上走，紧贴着沟沿走，一直走到栅栏那儿收税人的马铃薯田里去了。这人有一只母鸡，她被系在田里，为的是怕人多把她吓慌了，弄得她跑掉。这是一只短尾巴的鸡，她不停地眨着一只眼睛；看起来倒是蛮漂亮的。“咕！咕！”这鸡说。她说这话的时候，究竟心中在想什么东西，我不能告诉你。不过，这个种田人一看见，心中就想：“这是我一生所看到的最好的鸡！咳，她甚至比我们牧师的那只抱鸡母鸡还要好。我的天，我倒很想有这只鸡哩！一只鸡总会找到一些麦粒，自己养活自己的。我想拿这只鹅来换这只鸡，一定不会吃亏。”

“我们交换好吗？”他说。

“交换！”对方说，“唔，那也不坏！”

这样，他们就交换了。栅栏旁的那个收税人得到了鹅；这个庄稼人带走了鸡。

他在到集上去的路上已经做了不少的生意了。天气很热，他也感到累，他想吃点东西，喝一杯烧酒。他现在来到了一个酒店门口，他正想要走进去。但店里一个伙计走出来了；他们恰恰在门口碰头。这伙计背着一满袋子的东西。

“你袋子里装的是什么东西？”农人问。

“烂苹果，”伙计说。“一满袋子喂猪的烂苹果。”

“这堆东西可不少！我倒希望我那呆在家里的老婆能见见这个世面呢。去年我们炭棚子旁的那棵老苹果树只结了一个苹果。我们把它保藏起来。它在碗柜一直呆到裂开为止。‘那总算是一笔财产呀，’我的老婆说。现在她可以看到一大堆财产了！是的，我希望她能看看。”

“你打算出什么价钱呢？”伙计问。

“价钱吗？我想拿我的鸡来交换。”

所以他就拿出那只鸡来，换得了一袋子烂苹果。他走进酒店，一直到酒吧间里来。他把这袋子苹果放在炉子旁边靠着，一点也没有想到炉子烧得正旺。房间里有许多客人——贩马的，贩牛的，还有两个英国人：他们非常有钱，他们的腰包都是鼓得满满的。他们还打起赌来呢。关于这事的下文，你且听吧。

咝——咝——咝！咝——咝——咝！炉子旁边发出的是什么声音呢？这是苹果开始在烤烂的声音。

“那是什么呢？”

唔，他们不久就知道了。他怎样把一匹马换得了一头牛，以及随后一连串的交换，一直到换得烂苹果为止的这整个故事，都由他亲自讲出来了。

“乖乖！你回到家里去时，保管你的老婆结结实实地打你一顿！”那两个英国人说。“她一定会跟你吵一阵。”

“我将会得到一个吻，而不是一顿痛打，”这农人说。“我的女人将会说：老头子做的事儿总是对的。”

“我们打一个赌好吗？”英国人说。“我们可以用满桶的金币来打赌——100镑对112镑！”

“一斗金币就够了，”农人回答说。“我只能拿出一斗苹果来打赌，但是我可以把我自己和我的老女人加进去——我想这加起来可以抵得上总数吧。”

“好极了！好极了！”英国人说。于是赌注就这么确定了。店老板的车子开出来了。那两个英国人坐上去，农人也上去[，烂苹果也坐上去了]。不一会儿他们来到了农人的屋子面前。

“晚安，老太太。”

“晚安，老头子。”

“我已经把东西换来了！”

“是的，你自己做的事你自己知道，”老太婆说。

于是她拥抱着他，把那袋东西和客人都忘记掉了。

“我把那匹马换了一头母牛，”他说。

“感谢老天爷，我们有牛奶吃了，”老太婆说。“现在我们桌上可以有奶做的食物、黄油和干奶酪了！这真是一桩最好的交易！”

“是的，不过我把那头牛换了一只羊。”

“啊，那更好！”老太婆说。“你真想得周到：我们给羊吃的草有的是。现在我们可以有羊奶、羊奶酪、羊毛夹克、羊毛袜子了！[是的，还可以有羊毛睡衣！]一头母牛可产生不了这么多的东西！她的毛只会白白地落掉。你真是一个想得非常周到的丈夫！”

“不过我把羊又换了一只鹅！”

“亲爱的老头子，那么我们今年在马丁节的时候真的可以有鹅肉吃了。你老是想种种办法来使我快乐。这真是一个美丽的想法！我们可以把这鹅系住，在马丁节以前它就可以长肥了。”

“不过我把这只鹅换了一只鸡，”丈夫说。

“一只鸡？这桩交易做得好！”太太说。“鸡会生蛋，蛋可以孵小鸡，那么我们将要有一大群小鸡，将可以养一大院子的鸡了！啊，这正是我所希望的一件事情。”

“是的，不过我已经把那只鸡换了一袋子烂苹果。”

“什么！现在我非得给你一个吻不可，”老太婆说。“谢谢你，我的好丈夫！现在我要告诉你一件事情。你知道，今天你离开以后，我就想今晚要做一点好东西给你吃。我想最好是鸡蛋饼加点香菜。我有鸡蛋，不过我没有香菜。所以我到学校老师那儿去——我知道他们种有香菜。不过老师的太太、那个宝贝婆娘，是一个吝啬的女人。我请求她借给我一点。‘借’？她对我说：‘我们的菜园里什么也不长，连一个烂苹果都不结。我甚至连一个烂苹果都没法借给你呢。’不过现在我可以借给她10个，甚至一整袋子烂苹果呢。老头子，这真叫人好笑！”

她说完这话后就在他的嘴上接了一个响亮的吻。

“我喜欢看这幅情景！”那两个英国人齐声说，“老是走下坡路，却老是快乐。这件事本身就值钱。”

所以他们就付给这个种田人112镑金子，因为他没有挨打，而是得到了吻。

是的，如果一个太太相信自己丈夫是世上最聪明的人和承认他所做的事总是对的，她一定会得到好处。

请听着，这是一个故事！这是我在小时候听到的。现在你也听到它了，并且知道那个老头子做的事儿总是对的。

 

这个故事发表于1861年在哥本哈根出版的《新的童话和故事集》第2卷第1部。主人公是个典型的农民。他生性善良，勤劳节俭，纯真质朴，热爱自己的工作和家庭，他考虑问题总是从他家庭的实际出发，尽管他的考虑在一般人看来不免显得很荒唐。他把价值高的一头牛换了一头价值低的羊，但是他很满意，因为“它可以在我们沟旁找到许多草吃。冬天它可以跟我们一起呆在屋子里。”接着他又把羊换了一只鹅，直到他最后换成一袋子烂苹果。不管他怎么吃亏，他总觉得他换的东西对他家有用，可以给他的生活带来愉快。一般人都认为他是个蠢材，回到家去一定会受到妻子的痛骂。所以两个有钱的英国人愿意和他打赌。他们不懂得农民的纯朴和他们纯朴的爱情。那个老农妇的想法完全和丈夫一样，认为“老头子做的事总不会错”。因此老头子不但没有挨打挨骂，“而是得到了吻”，那两个只考虑眼前利益的英国人所下的赌注也就输了。