Chapter 19

MORNING made a considerable difference in my general prospect of Life, and brightened it so much that it scarcely seemed the same. What lay heaviest on my mind, was, the consideration that six days intervened between me and the day of departure; for, I could not divest myself of a misgiving that something might happen to London in the meanwhile, and that, when I got there, it would be either greatly deteriorated or clean gone.
Joe and Biddy were very sympathetic and pleasant when I spoke of our approaching separation; but they only referred to it when I did. After breakfast, Joe brought out my indentures from the press in the best parlour, and we put them in the fire, and I felt that I was free. With all the novelty of my emancipation on me, I went to church with Joe, and thought, perhaps the clergyman wouldn't have read that about the rich man and the kingdom of Heaven, if he had known all.

After our early dinner I strolled out alone, purposing of finish off the marshes at once, and get them done with. As I passed the church, I felt (as I had felt during service in the morning) a sublime compassion for the poor creatures who were destined to go there, Sunday after Sunday, all their lives through, and to lie obscurely at last among the low green mounds. I promised myself that I would do something for them one of these days, and formed a plan in outline for bestowing a dinner of roast-beef and plumpudding, a pint of ale, and a gallon of condescension, upon everybody in the village.

If I had often thought before, with something allied to shame, of my companionship with the fugitive whom I had once seen limping among those graves, what were my thoughts on this Sunday, when the place recalled the wretch, ragged and shivering, with his felon iron and badge! My comfort was, that it happened a long time ago, and that he had doubtless been transported a long way off, and that he was dead to me, and might be veritably dead into the bargain.

No more low wet grounds, no more dykes and sluices, no more of these grazing cattle - though they seemed, in their dull manner, to wear a more respectful air now, and to face round, in order that they might stare as long as possible at the possessor of such great expectations - farewell, monotonous acquaintances of my childhood, henceforth I was for London and greatness: not for smith's work in general and for you! I made my exultant way to the old Battery, and, lying down there to consider the question whether Miss Havisham intended me for Estella, fell asleep.

When I awoke, I was much surprised to find Joe sitting beside me, smoking his pipe. He greeted me with a cheerful smile on my opening my eyes, and said:

`As being the last time, Pip, I thought I'd foller.'

`And Joe, I am very glad you did so.'

`Thankee, Pip.'

`You may be sure, dear Joe,' I went on, after we had shaken hands, `that I shall never forget you.'

`No, no, Pip!' said Joe, in a comfortable tone, `I'm sure of that. Ay, ay, old chap! Bless you, it were only necessary to get it well round in a man's mind, to be certain on it. But it took a bit of time to get it well round, the change come so oncommon plump; didn't it?'

Somehow, I was not best pleased with Joe's being so mightily secure of me. I should have liked him to have betrayed emotion, or to have said, `It does you credit, Pip,' or something of that sort. Therefore, I made no remark on Joe's first head: merely saying as to his second, that the tidings had indeed come suddenly, but that I had always wanted to be a gentleman, and had often and often speculated on what I would do, if I were one.

`Have you though?' said Joe. `Astonishing!'

`It's a pity now, Joe,' said I, `that you did not get on a little more, when we had our lessons here; isn't it?'

`Well, I don't know,' returned Joe. `I'm so awful dull. I'm only master of my own trade. It were always a pity as I was so awful dull; but it's no more of a pity now, than it was - this day twelvemonth - don't you see?'

What I had meant was, that when I came into my property and was able to do something for Joe, it would have been much more agreeable if he had been better qualified for a rise in station. He was so perfectly innocent of my meaning, however, that I thought I would mention it to Biddy in preference.

So, when we had walked home and had had tea, I took Biddy into our little garden by the side of the lane, and, after throwing out in a general way for elevation of her spirits, that I should never forget her, said I had a favour to ask of her.

`And it is, Biddy,' said I, `that you will not omit any opportunity of helping Joe on, a little.'

`How helping him on?' asked Biddy, with a steady sort of glance.

`Well! Joe is a dear good fellow - in fact, I think he is the dearest fellow that ever lived - but he is rather backward in some things. For instance, Biddy, in his learning and his manners.'

Although I was looking at Biddy as I spoke, and although she opened her eyes very wide when I had spoken, she did not look at me.

`Oh, his manners! won't his manners do, then?' asked Biddy, plucking a black-currant leaf.

`My dear Biddy, they do very well here--'

`Oh! they do very well here?' interrupted Biddy, looking closely at the leaf in her hand.

`Hear me out - but if I were to remove Joe into a higher sphere, as I shall hope to remove him when I fully come into my property, they would hardly do him justice.'

`And don't you think he knows that?' asked Biddy.

It was such a very provoking question (for it had never in the most distant manner occurred to me), that I said, snappishly, `Biddy, what do you mean?'

Biddy having rubbed the leaf to pieces between her hands - and the smell of a black-currant bush has ever since recalled to me that evening in the little garden by the side of the lane - said, `Have you never considered that he may be proud?'

`Proud?' I repeated, with disdainful emphasis.

`Oh! there are many kinds of pride,' said Biddy, looking full at me and shaking her head; `pride is not all of one kind--'

`Well? What are you stopping for?' said I.

`Not all of one kind,' resumed Biddy. `He may be too proud to let any one take him out of a place that he is competent to fill, and fills well and with respect. To tell you the truth, I think he is: though it sounds bold in me to say so, for you must know him far better than I do.'

`Now, Biddy,' said I, `I am very sorry to see this in you. I did not expect to see this in you. You are envious, Biddy, and grudging. You are dissatisfied on account of my rise in fortune, and you can't help showing it.'

`If you have the heart to think so,' returned Biddy, `say so. Say so over and over again, if you have the heart to think so.'

`If you have the heart to be so, you mean, Biddy,' said I, in a virtuous and superior tone; `don't put it off upon me. I am very sorry to see it, and it's a - it's a bad side of human nature. I did intend to ask you to use any little opportunities you might have after I was gone, of improving dear Joe. But after this, I ask you nothing. I am extremely sorry to see this in you, Biddy,' I repeated. `It's a - it's a bad side of human nature.'

`Whether you scold me or approve of me,' returned poor Biddy, `you may equally depend upon my trying to do all that lies in my power, here, at all times. And whatever opinion you take away of me, shall make no difference in my remembrance of you. Yet a gentleman should not be unjust neither,' said Biddy, turning away her head.

I again warmly repeated that it was a bad side of human nature (in which sentiment, waiving its application, I have since seen reason to think I was right), and I walked down the little path away from Biddy, and Biddy went into the house, and I went out at the garden gate and took a dejected stroll until supper-time; again feeling it very sorrowful and strange that this, the second night of my bright fortunes, should be as lonely and unsatisfactory as the first.

But, morning once more brightened my view, and I extended my clemency to Biddy, and we dropped the subject. Putting on the best clothes I had, I went into town as early as I could hope to find the shops open, and presented myself before Mr Trabb, the tailor: who was having his breakfast in the parlour behind his shop, and who did not think it worth his while to come out to me, but called me in to him.

`Well!' said Mr Trabb, in a hail-fellow-well-met kind of way. `How are you, and what can I do for you?'

Mr Trabb had sliced his hot roll into three feather beds, and was slipping butter in between the blankets, and covering it up. He was a prosperous old bachelor, and his open window looked into a prosperous little garden and orchard, and there was a prosperous iron safe let into the wall at the side of his fireplace, and I did not doubt that heaps of his prosperity were put away in it in bags.

`Mr Trabb,' said I, `it's an unpleasant thing to have to mention, because it looks like boasting; but I have come into a handsome property.'

A change passed over Mr Trabb. He forgot the butter in bed, got up from the bedside, and wiped his fingers on the table-cloth, exclaiming, `Lord bless my soul!'

`I am going up to my guardian in London,' said I, casually drawing some guineas out of my pocket and looking at them; `and I want a fashionable suit of clothes to go in. I wish to pay for them,' I added - otherwise I thought he might only pretend to make them - `with ready money.'

`My dear sir,' said Mr Trabb, as he respectfully bent his body, opened his arms, and took the liberty of touching me on the outside of each elbow, `don't hurt me by mentioning that. May I venture to congratulate you? Would you do me the favour of stepping into the shop?'

Mr Trabb's boy was the most audacious boy in all that countryside. When I had entered he was sweeping the shop, and he had sweetened his labours by sweeping over me. He was still sweeping when I came out into the shop with Mr Trabb, and he knocked the broom against all possible corners and obstacles, to express (as I understood it) equality with any blacksmith, alive or dead.

`Hold that noise,' said Mr Trabb, with the greatest sternness, `or I'll knock your head off! Do me the favour to be seated, sir. Now, this,' said Mr Trabb, taking down a roll of cloth, and tiding it out in a flowing manner over the counter, preparatory to getting his hand under it to show the gloss, `is a very sweet article. I can recommend it for your purpose, sir, because it really is extra super. But you shall see some others. Give me Number Four, you!' (To the boy, and with a dreadfully severe stare: foreseeing the danger of that miscreant's brushing me with it, or making some other sign of familiarity.)

Mr Trabb never removed his stern eye from the boy until he had deposited number four on the counter and was at a safe distance again. Then, he commanded him to bring number five, and number eight. `And let me have none of your tricks here,' said Mr Trabb, `or you shall repent it, you young scoundrel, the longest day you have to live.'

Mr Trabb then bent over number four, and in a sort of deferential confidence recommended it to me as a light article for summer wear, an article much in vogue among the nobility and gentry, and article that it would ever be an honour to him to reflect upon a distinguished fellow-townsman's (if he might claim me for a fellowtownsman) having worn. `Are you bringing numbers five and eight, you vagabond,' said Mr Trabb to the boy after that, `or shall I kick you out of the shop and bring them myself?'

I selected the materials for a suit, with the assistance of Mr Trabb's judgment, and re-entered the parlour to be measured. For, although Mr Trabb had my measure already, and had previously been quite contented with it, he said apologetically that it `wouldn't do under existing circumstances, sir - wouldn't do at all.' So, Mr Trabb measured and calculated me, in the parlour, as if I were an estate and he the finest species of surveyor, and gave himself such a world of trouble that I felt that no suit of clothes could possibly remunerate him for his pains. When he had at last done and had appointed to send the articles to Mr Pumblechook's on the Thursday evening, he said, with his hand upon the parlour lock, `I know, sir, that London gentlemen cannot be expected to patronize local work, as a rule; but if you would give me a turn now and then in the quality of a townsman, I should greatly esteem it. Good morning, sir, much obliged. - Door!'

The last word was flung at the boy, who had not the least notion what it meant. But I saw him collapse as his master rubbed me out with his hands, and my first decided experience of the stupendous power of money, was, that it had morally laid upon his back, Trabb's boy.

After this memorable event, I went to the hatter's, and the bootmaker's, and the hosier's, and felt rather like Mother Hubbard's dog whose outfit required the services of so many trades. I also went to the coach-office and took my place for seven o'clock on Saturday morning. It was not necessary to explain everywhere that I had come into a handsome property; but whenever I said anything to that effect, it followed that the officiating tradesman ceased to have his attention diverted through the window by the High-street, and concentrated his mind upon me. When I had ordered everything I wanted, I directed my steps towards Pumblechook's, and, as I approached that gentleman's place of business, I saw him standing at his door.

He was waiting for me with great impatience. He had been out early with the chaise-cart, and had called at the forge and heard the news. He had prepared a collation for me in the Barnwell parlour, and he too ordered his shopman to `come out of the gangway' as my sacred person passed.

`My dear friend,' said Mr Pumblechook, taking me by both hands, when he and I and the collation were alone, `I give you joy of your good fortune. Well deserved, well deserved!'

This was coming to the point, and I thought it a sensible way of expressing himself.

`To think,' said Mr Pumblechook, after snorting admiration at me for some moments, `that I should have been the humble instrument of leading up to this, is a proud reward.'

I begged Mr Pumblechook to remember that nothing was to be ever said or hinted, on that point.

`My dear young friend,' said Mr Pumblechook, `if you will allow me to call you so--'

I murmured `Certainly,' and Mr Pumblechook took me by both hands again, and communicated a movement to his waistcoat, which had an emotional appearance, though it was rather low down, `My dear young friend, rely upon my doing my little all in your absence, by keeping the fact before the mind of Joseph. - Joseph!' said Mr Pumblechook, in the way of a compassionate adjuration. `Joseph!! Joseph!!!' Thereupon he shook his head and tapped it, expressing his sense of deficiency in Joseph.

`But my dear young friend,' said Mr Pumblechook, `you must be hungry, you must be exhausted. Be seated. Here is a chicken had round from the Boar, here is a tongue had round from the Boar, here's one or two little things had round from the Boar, that I hope you may not despise. But do I,' said Mr Pumblechook, getting up again the moment after he had sat down, `see afore me, him as I ever sported with in his times of happy infancy? And may I - may I - ?'

This May I, meant might he shake hands? I consented, and he was fervent, and then sat down again.

`Here is wine,' said Mr Pumblechook. `Let us drink, Thanks to Fortune, and may she ever pick out her favourites with equal judgment! And yet I cannot,' said Mr Pumblechook, getting up again, `see afore me One - and likewise drink to One - without again expressing - May I - may I - ?'

I said he might, and he shook hands with me again, and emptied his glass and turned it upside down. I did the same; and if I had turned myself upside down before drinking, the wine could not have gone more direct to my head.

Mr Pumblechook helped me to the liver wing, and to the best slice of tongue (none of those out-of-the-way No Thoroughfares of Pork now), and took, comparatively speaking, no care of himself at all. `Ah! poultry, poultry! You little thought,' said Mr Pumblechook, apostrophizing the fowl in the dish, `when you was a young fledgling, what was in store for you. You little thought you was to be refreshment beneath this humble roof for one as - Call it a weakness, if you will,' said Mr Pumblechook, getting up again, `but may I? may I - ?'

It began to be unnecessary to repeat the form of saying he might, so he did it at once. How he ever did it so often without wounding himself with my knife, I don't know.

`And your sister,' he resumed, after a little steady eating, `which had the honour of bringing you up by hand! It's a sad picter, to reflect that she's no longer equal to fully understanding the honour. May--'

I saw he was about to come at me again, and I stopped him.

`We'll drink her health,' said I.

`Ah!' cried Mr Pumblechook, leaning back in his chair, quite flaccid with admiration, `that's the way you know 'em, sir!' (I don't know who Sir was, but he certainly was not I, and there was no third person present); `that's the way you know the nobleminded, sir! Ever forgiving and ever affable. It might,' said the servile Pumblechook, putting down his untasted glass in a hurry and getting up again, `to a common person, have the appearance of repeating - but may I - ?'

When he had done it, he resumed his seat and drank to my sister. `Let us never be blind,' said Mr Pumblechook, `to her faults of temper, but it is to be hoped she meant well.'

At about this time, I began to observe that he was getting flushed in the face; as to myself, I felt all face, steeped in wine and smarting.

I mentioned to Mr Pumblechook that I wished to have my new clothes sent to his house, and he was ecstatic on my so distinguishing him. I mentioned my reason for desiring to avoid observation in the village, and he lauded it to the skies. There was nobody but himself, he intimated, worthy of my confidence, and - in short, might he? Then he asked me tenderly if I remembered our boyish games at sums, and how we had gone together to have me bound apprentice, and, in effect, how he had ever been my favourite fancy and my chosen friend? If I had taken ten times as many glasses of wine as I had, I should have known that he never had stood in that relation towards me, and should in my heart of hearts have repudiated the idea. Yet for all that, I remember feeling convinced that I had been much mistaken in him, and that he was a sensible practical good-hearted prime fellow.

By degrees he fell to reposing such great confidence in me, as to ask my advice in reference to his own affairs. He mentioned that there was an opportunity for a great amalgamation and monopoly of the corn and seed trade on those premises, if enlarged, such as had never occurred before in that, or any other neighbourhood. What alone was wanting to the realization of a vast fortune, he considered to be More Capital. Those were the two little words, more capital. Now it appeared to him (Pumblechook) that if that capital were got into the business, through a sleeping partner, sir - which sleeping partner would have nothing to do but walk in, by self or deputy, whenever he pleased, and examine the books - and walk in twice a year and take his profits away in his pocket, to the tune of fifty per cent. - it appeared to him that that might be an opening for a young gentleman of spirit combined with property, which would be worthy of his attention. But what did I think? He had great confidence in my opinion, and what did I think? I gave it as my opinion. `Wait a bit!' The united vastness and distinctness of this view so struck him, that he no longer asked if he might shake hands with me, but said he really must - and did.

We drank all the wine, and Mr Pumblechook pledged himself over and over again to keep Joseph up to the mark (I don't know what mark), and to render me efficient and constant service (I don't know what service). He also made known to me for the first time in my life, and certainly after having kept his secret wonderfully well, that he had always said of me, `That boy is no common boy, and mark me, his fortun' will be no common fortun'.' He said with a tearful smile that it was a singular thing to think of now, and I said so too. Finally, I went out into the air, with a dim perception that there was something unwonted in the conduct of the sunshine, and found that I had slumberously got to the turn-pike without having taken any account of the road.

There, I was roused by Mr Pumblechook's hailing me. He was a long way down the sunny street, and was making expressive gestures for me to stop. I stopped, and he came up breathless.

`No, my dear friend,' said he, when he had recovered wind for speech. `Not if I can help it. This occasion shall not entirely pass without that affability on your part. - May I, as an old friend and well-wisher? May I?'

We shook hands for the hundredth time at least, and he ordered a young carter out of my way with the greatest indignation. Then, he blessed me and stood waving his hand to me until I had passed the crook in the road; and then I turned into a field and had a long nap under a hedge before I pursued my way home.

I had scant luggage to take with me to London, for little of the little I possessed was adapted to my new station. But, I began packing that same afternoon, and wildly packed up things that I knew I should want next morning, in a fiction that there was not a moment to be lost.

So, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, passed; and on Friday morning I went to Mr Pumblechook's, to put on my new clothes and pay my visit to Miss Havisham. Mr Pumblechook's own room was given up to me to dress in, and was decorated with clean towels expressly for the event. My clothes were rather a disappointment, of course. Probably every new and eagerly expected garment ever put on since clothes came in, fell a trifle short of the wearer's expectation. But after I had had my new suit on, some half an hour, and had gone through an immensity of posturing with Mr Pumblechook's very limited dressing-glass, in the futile endeavour to see my legs, it seemed to fit me better. It being market morning at a neighbouring town some ten miles off, Mr Pumblechook was not at home. I had not told him exactly when I meant to leave, and was not likely to shake hands with him again before departing. This was all as it should be, and I went out in my new array: fearfully ashamed of having to pass the shopman, and suspicious after all that I was at a personal disadvantage, something like Joe's in his Sunday suit.

I went circuitously to Miss Havisham's by all the back ways, and rang at the bell constrainedly, on account of the stiff long fingers of my gloves. Sarah Pocket came to the gate, and positively reeled back when she saw me so changed; her walnut-shell countenance likewise, turned from brown to green and yellow.

`You?' said she. `You, good gracious! What do you want?'

`I am going to London, Miss Pocket,' said I, `and want to say good-bye to Miss Havisham.'

I was not expected, for she left me locked in the yard, while she went to ask if I were to be admitted. After a very short delay, she returned and took me up, staring at me all the way.

Miss Havisham was taking exercise in the room with the long spread table, leaning on her crutch stick. The room was lighted as of yore, and at the sound of our entrance, she stopped and turned. She was then just abreast of the rotted bride-cake.

`Don't go, Sarah,' she said. `Well, Pip?'

`I start for London, Miss Havisham, to-morrow,' I was exceedingly careful what I said, `and I thought you would kindly not mind my taking leave of you.'

`This is a gay figure, Pip,' said she, making her crutch stick play round me, as if she, the fairy godmother who had changed me, were bestowing the finishing gift.

`I have come into such good fortune since I saw you last, Miss Havisham,' I murmured. `And I am so grateful for it, Miss Havisham!'

`Ay, ay!' said she, looking at the discomfited and envious Sarah, with delight. `I have seen Mr Jaggers. I have heard about it, Pip. So you go to-morrow?'

`Yes, Miss Havisham.'

`And you are adopted by a rich person?'

`Yes, Miss Havisham.'

`Not named?'

`No, Miss Havisham.'

`And Mr Jaggers is made your guardian?'

`Yes, Miss Havisham.'

She quite gloated on these questions and answers, so keen was her enjoyment of Sarah Pocket's jealous dismay. `Well!' she went on; `you have a promising career before you. Be good - deserve it - and abide by Mr Jaggers's instructions.' She looked at me, and looked at Sarah, and Sarah's countenance wrung out of her watchful face a cruel smile. `Good-bye, Pip! - you will always keep the name of Pip, you know.'

`Yes, Miss Havisham.'

`Good-bye, Pip!'

She stretched out her hand, and I went down on my knee and put it to my lips. I had not considered how I should take leave of her; it came naturally to me at the moment, to do this. She looked at Sarah Pocket with triumph in her weird eyes, and so I left my fairy godmother, with both her hands on her crutch stick, standing in the midst of the dimly lighted room beside the rotten bridecake that was hidden in cobwebs.

Sarah Pocket conducted me down, as if I were a ghost who must be seen out. She could not get over my appearance, and was in the last degree confounded. I said `Good-bye, Miss Pocket;' but she merely stared, and did not seem collected enough to know that I had spoken. Clear of the house, I made the best of my way back to Pumblechook's, took off my new clothes, made them into a bundle, and went back home in my older dress, carrying it - to speak the truth - much more at my ease too, though I had the bundle to carry.

And now, those six days which were to have run out so slowly, had run out fast and were gone, and to-morrow looked me in the face more steadily than I could look at it. As the six evenings had dwindled away, to five, to four, to three, to two, I had become more and more appreciative of the society of Joe and Biddy. On this last evening, I dressed my self out in my new clothes, for their delight, and sat in my splendour until bedtime. We had a hot supper on the occasion, graced by the inevitable roast fowl, and we had some flip to finish with. We were all very low, and none the higher for pretending to be in spirits.

I was to leave our village at five in the morning, carrying my little hand-portmanteau, and I had told Joe that I wished to walk away all alone. I am afraid - sore afraid - that this purpose originated in my sense of the contrast there would be between me and Joe, if we went to the coach together. I had pretended with myself that there was nothing of this taint in the arrangement; but when I went up to my little room on this last night, I felt compelled to admit that it might be so, and had an impulse upon me to go down again and entreat Joe to walk with me in the morning. I did not.

All night there were coaches in my broken sleep, going to wrong places instead of to London, and having in the traces, now dogs, now cats, now pigs, now men - never horses. Fantastic failures of journeys occupied me until the day dawned and the birds were singing. Then, I got up and partly dressed, and sat at the window to take a last look out, and in taking it fell asleep.

Biddy was astir so early to get my breakfast, that, although I did not sleep at the window an hour, I smelt the smoke of the kitchen fire when I started up with a terrible idea that it must be late in the afternoon. But long after that, and long after I had heard the clinking of the teacups and was quite ready, I wanted the resolution to go down stairs. After all, I remained up there, repeatedly unlocking and unstrapping my small portmanteau and locking and strapping it up again, until Biddy called to me that I was late.

It was a hurried breakfast with no taste in it. I got up from the meal, saying with a sort of briskness, as if it had only just occurred to me, `Well! I suppose I must be off!' and then I kissed my sister who was laughing and nodding and shaking in her usual chair, and kissed Biddy, and threw my arms around Joe's neck. Then I took up my little portmanteau and walked out. The last I saw of them was, when I presently heard a scuffle behind me, and looking back, saw Joe throwing an old shoe after me and Biddy throwing another old shoe. I stopped then, to wave my hat, and dear old Joe waved his strong right arm above his head, crying huskily `Hooroar!' and Biddy put her apron to her face.

I walked away at a good pace, thinking it was easier to go than I had supposed it would be, and reflecting that it would never have done to have had an old shoe thrown after the coach, in sight of all the High-street. I whistled and made nothing of going. But the village was very peaceful and quiet, and the light mists were solemnly rising, as if to show me the world, and I had been so innocent and little there, and all beyond was so unknown and great, that in a moment with a strong heave and sob I broke into tears. It was by the finger-post at the end of the village, and I laid my hand upon it, and said, `Good-bye O my dear, dear friend!'

Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before - more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle. If I had cried before, I should have had Joe with me then.

So subdued I was by those tears, and by their breaking out again in the course of the quiet walk, that when I was on the coach, and it was clear of the town, I deliberated with an aching heart whether I would not get down when we changed horses and walk back, and have another evening at home, and a better parting. We changed, and I had not made up my mind, and still reflected for my comfort that it would be quite practicable to get down and walk back, when we changed again. And while I was occupied with these deliberations, I would fancy an exact resemblance to Joe in some man coming along the road towards us, and my heart would beat high. - As if he could possibly be there!

We changed again, and yet again, and it was now too late and too far to go back, and I went on. And the mists had all solemnly risen now, and the world lay spread before me.

THIS IS THE END OF THE FIRST STAGE OF PIP'S EXPECTATIONS.

 

次日清晨，我已经是一个不同的人，我的人生远景也已改变。清晨使我焕发一新，和以前截然不同。尽管如此，我的心头仍感沉重，一想到还有六天我才能离开此地，而我又不能不怀疑，在此期间伦敦的情况会忽然大变，等我抵达时，说不定所期望的美景已经大大降格，甚至一切美好的想象均荡然无存了。

每逢我谈到我们越来越接近分别之事，乔和毕蒂便显出对我的爱怜和他们内心的喜悦，但是他们从不主动谈起，只有当我谈到时他们才表示自己的情感。早饭后，乔从那间最好的客厅里的柜子中取出我的师徒合同书，我们一同把它丢进火炉，我感到得到了自由。带着从束缚中解放出来的一种新奇感，我和乔一起到教堂去。我暗自思忖，如果那位牧师知道了这一切，他也许不会再去诵读《圣经》中有关富人难进天国的那一节了。

提前吃了午饭，我独自漫步而出，向沼泽地走去，打算了结与它的相处之情，然后便断绝来往，各奔前程。经过教堂时，我顿时生出一种崇高的同情心，因为我想到那些最终将来到这里的可怜的人们，活着时，一个星期天接一个星期天地来到这个教堂，而生命结束之后，就永远地在这盖着青青低草的土堆里长眠（我在上午晨祷时就有过这种心情）。于是，我便许下一个心愿，有一天我将为村民们做些善事。当时，我还立下了一个草草的计划，请全村居民吃一顿盛餐，有烤牛肉、葡萄干布了、每人一品脱麦酒，以表达恩赐之意。

如果说以前我时常想到曾经和一个逃犯结成同盟，曾经看到他一跛一拐地行走在这坟堆之中，而且不由地感到羞愧，那么在今天这一个星期天，我在这里又想起了往事，想起了那个可怜的、衣衫破烂的＼全身发抖的、戴着镣铐的罪犯，我又有着怎样的感想啊！我也许会说那是很久很久以前的事了，毫无疑问他已经被押往遥远的地方，对我说来他已经死了，也可能他已经真的死去，并且以此来作自我安慰。

今后再不会见到这低低的潮湿之地，再不会见到这里的堤坝和闸门，再不会见到嚼着草儿的牛群——虽然这些愚钝的牛儿今天一转往日态度，对我较为尊敬，甚至还掉转头儿，长久地注视着我这个大笔财产的所有人——哦再见吧，我童年时光令人厌倦的老相识，我即将奔赴伦敦，即将尊贵无比。我再不会在铁匠铺以打铁为生，再不会在这里和你们为伍！于是，我耀武扬威地向那老炮台走去，躺在那里，思索着郝维仙小姐是否会把埃斯苔娜嫁给我，渐渐进入了梦乡。

当我一觉醒来，意外地看到乔正坐在我的身旁，抽着他那根烟斗。他一看到我睁开双眼便露出欣喜的微笑，向我招呼，说道：

“皮普，这是最后一次了，所以我想还是跟着你来了。”

“乔，你来到这里我太高兴了。”

“谢谢你，皮普。”

“亲爱的乔，你尽管宽心，”我们紧紧握过手后，我继续说道，“我永远不会把你忘掉的。”

“我知道你不会忘掉我的，皮普！”乔用欣慰的语调对我说，“我肯定你是不会忘掉我的，嗳，嗳，我的老弟！我祝福你，本来嘛，要放心就需要把心放宽，可我却花了不少时间来宽心，因为这个变化来得太不平常、太突然，你说呢？”

乔表示了他对我放心得下，不知怎的我倒反而感到不太高兴。说实话，我真希望他说些更流露情感的话，比如说：“皮普，你这可有面子了！”或者其他诸如此类的话。所以，对他所说的这第一点我没有答言，只是谈了谈他所说的第二点，说事情确实来得太不平常、太突然了，可是我过去一直想成为上流社会的人，时常翻来覆去地思考，如果我成了上流社会的人，又该做些什么。

“你这么想吗？”乔问道，“真奇怪！”

我对乔说道：“以前我们在这儿读书，可是你的进步太慢了，回想起来真有些遗憾，你说呢？”

“唔，我也不懂是什么原因，”乔答道，“我实在太笨了，只配当个打铁的师傅。我如此的笨真是大令人遗憾了，不过现在不用再遗憾了，因为十二个月之前就遗憾过了，你说对吧？”

我本来的意思是，一旦我继承了遗产能够为乔做点好事了，那么要是他的文化程度能有所提高，以便提高他的社会地位，那该多么令人欣慰。可是他对我所说的一窍不通，所以我想，也许我对毕蒂说会更好。

我们回家后，吃过了茶点，我便拖着毕蒂到小巷边的一个小花园里去。谈了一些无所谓的话后，我为了振奋她的精神使她高兴起来，便说我永远不会忘记她，然后就说到我要请她帮个忙。

“事情是这样的，毕蒂，”我说道，“我希望你抓住一切机会帮助乔，让他至少也有点儿进步才是。”

“怎么样帮助他进步？”毕蒂定定地瞅着我，说道。

“噢，是这样的，乔是一个可爱的好人，的确如此，我看在这个世界上再也找不到第二个了，不过在有些方面他是太落伍了。毕蒂，就拿学识或者待人接物来讲吧，他就是不太行。”

虽然我说话的时候一直在盯着毕蒂看，虽然我说完之后她也把眼睛睁得老大，可是她就是没有看我。

“哦，他的待人接物！他待人接物不行吗？”毕蒂答道，同时摘下了一片黑醋栗树的叶子。

“我亲爱的毕蒂，他的待人接物在这里当然很好——”

“唔，他的待人接物在这个地方挺好吗？”毕蒂打断了我的话，仔仔细细地看着手中的黑醋栗树叶。

“你听我把话讲完——我希望在我继承了财产后让他的地位提高，他的地位提高了之后，他的待人接物就会受到非议。”

“你不认为他知道这点吗？”毕蒂又问道。

毕蒂提出的问题触怒了我，无论如何我也没有想到她居然提出这个问题，这使我暴躁起来，我说：‘华蒂，你说的究竟是什么意思？”

毕蒂把黑醋栗树叶在双手中揉得碎碎的，自此以后只要我一闻到黑醋栗树丛的气味，就会忆起那一次深巷小园中的晚上。毕蒂说道：“你难道没有想到过他也有自尊心吗？”

“自尊心？”我的语气之间带有不屑一顾的意思。

“哦！世界上有许多种自尊心，”毕蒂说着，望着我摇了摇头，“自尊心不只有一种——”

“那好！你不要停下来，说下去啊？”我说道。

“自尊心不只有一种，”毕蒂接着说下去，“他为打铁这一行感到骄傲，他有能力把这行干好，事实上他干得很好，受到别人的尊敬。他也许并不愿意离开这一行，这就是他的自尊心。老实告诉你，我认为他就是这么想的，虽然我这么说听起来冒失了一些，因为你一定比我对他更了解。”

“唉，毕蒂，”我说道，“看到你这样我心中很难过，我真没有想到你会这样说。毕蒂，你在妒忌我，所以才有此怨言。我走了好运你便心怀不满，而且情不自禁地流露了出来。”

毕蒂答道：“你要是真有心这样想，你就说吧。只要你是真有心这样想的，你就一遍一遍地反复说。”

“毕蒂，你的意思是，如果你真有心这么做，”我用颇有道德修养和自命不凡的语气说道，“没有必要把这推卸在我身上。看到你这样，我真伤心，我看这是——这是人性的弱点。本来我是想在我走了之后，请你利用哪怕是很微不足道的机会，尽可能地帮助我可爱的乔进步。既然如此，我就不再请求你帮助了。不过，看到你这样我是太伤心了，毕蒂，”我又一次说道，“这是——这是人性的弱点。”

“无论你是责备我还是赞美我，”可怜的毕蒂答道，“你都可以放心，凡是你要我做的事，只要在我能力所及的范围之内，我会尽力而为的。在你离开时，无论你对我有什么看法，在我的回忆中你是不会变的。不过，你要做一个上等人，也不能置公平于不顾。”说完，毕蒂便扭过头去。

我又激动地说了一遍这是一种人性的弱点（诚然，在如此情绪中我运用这种说法不妥，不过这一说法本身并没有错，后来我找到了理由），然后便离开了毕蒂，顺着小径漫步而去。毕蒂回了家，我才走出了花园的门，垂头丧气地踱着步，直到吃晚饭时才回家。从情感上说，我很悲伤，而且感到奇怪，我有了远大前程的第二天竟然也和第一天一样，感到那么孤寂，那么不满。

次日清早，我又乐观起来，从情感上原谅了毕蒂，过去的事再也不提。我穿上最好的衣服，一早便向镇上走去，指望到达镇上时铺子也刚开门营业。我来到特拉布先生的裁缝铺时，他正在店铺后面的客厅里用早餐。在他看来，这会儿出来接待我不值得，便招呼我到里面去见他。

“嗨！”特拉布先生以老熟人的口吻对我说道，“你好，我能为你做些什么？”

特拉布先生把他热气腾腾的面包切成了三层松软如羽毛的面包片，正在往夹层里涂黄油，涂得满满的。他是一个财星高照的老鳏夫，从他打开的窗户望出去是一座果树茂盛的小花园，火炉旁边的墙壁中装了一只气派非凡的铁保险柜，我相信他的财富一定用一只只袋子装着，藏在这保险柜中。

“特拉布先生，”我说道，“提起这件事我真不太想讲，因为直说会让人以为我夸口，不过我又不能不告诉你，我已经得到了一笔可观的财产。”

一听我的话，特拉布先生立刻判若两人。他忘记了在柔软的面包层中涂黄油，连忙站起来，把手指在台布上擦了擦，大声喊道：“我的老天啊！”

“我就要到伦敦去见我的监护人。”我说着，漫不经心地从口袋中掏出几枚金币，看着‘之们。“我打算订做一套时装穿了去，我希望，”我深怕他没有拿到钱会借口不做，便又补了一句，“付给你现金。”

“我亲爱的先生，”特拉布先生说着，对我恭敬地弯下腰来，并且毫不客气地张开臂膀碰了一下我的两只胳膊肘。“不用提钱，我不是不顾情谊的人。我可以向你道贺吗？可否请赏光到店里去再细谈？”

特拉布先生有个小伙计，是我们这乡下胆子最大的家伙。刚才我进来的时候，他正在店铺里扫地，一见我便把灰都扫到我身上，以此来取悦自己。我和特拉布先生出来的时候，他还在扫地。他用扫帚东打西打，打遍四处，敲遍所有碍他扫地的东西。我想，他是为了表明自己是一个打铁的能工巧匠，即使古往今来的一切打铁能手也不在他的话下。

“轻点，”特拉布先生紧绷着脸望着他的小伙计说道，“小心我敲掉你的头。”然后又对我说：“先生，请坐吧。”他取下一匹布料，抖开，使它像潮水一样地铺开在工作台上，并用双手托起它来向我展示了一下光泽。“看，这是人人喜欢的货色，先生，我向你推荐这种料子做衣服，因为这是真正的上等衣料。当然，你可以比较一下别的料子。去把四号布料拿来！”（他这是在对他的小伙计说话，还丢给他一个狠狠的眼色，因为怕这个小恶棍拿来料子时会有意在我身上撞一下，或者做出别的什么放肆举动，所以预先警告他要小心点。）

特拉布先生一刻不停地瞪着这小伙计，直到他把四号料子拿了来，放在工作台上，并且站在了远远的安全地方为止。接着，他又命令小伙计去取五号料子和八号料子。特拉布先生对他说道：“你这个小流氓痞子，我看你再在这儿搞鬼花样，我要叫你后悔一辈子。”

特拉布先生接下来便弯腰细察四号料子，并且非常谦逊恭敬地向我推荐四号衣料，说这是一种轻薄的料子，适合于夏天穿着，在贵族绅士中特别流行，还说要是他有一个超群出众的同乡穿过这料子做的衣服，他会感到很得意的（如果他能把我攀作他的同乡的话）。“你还不去取五号和八号，你这个小无赖。”特拉布先生又对这个小伙计说道，“难道要让我把你踢出店门，然后自己去取吗？”

根据特拉布先生对料子的评价，我选择了其中的一套，然后便重返客厅让他给我量尺寸。虽然特拉布先生本来就晓得我的尺寸，而且过去给我做衣服时也很满意那些数字，现在他却带着歉意地说：“根据现在的情况看来，先生，那个尺寸不能用了。”于是，特拉布先生在客厅里一面为我量，一面还要计算，仿佛我变成了一块地产，而他成了最佳测量人员。他简直是不辞辛劳，令我感到，无论他做出怎么好的衣服，他所付出的辛苦的劳动也得不到补偿。最后，他终于量好算好，又约定了星期四晚上把衣服送到彭波契克先生家。“我知道，先生，伦敦的绅士先生们是不会光顾我们这小地方的铺子的，不过，要是您能常光顾这里，我就会感到蓬荜生辉。那就再见了，先生，非常感谢。——门！”

他的最后一个字是对小伙计讲的，而小伙计却没有弄清楚要他开门的意思。当他的主人搓着双手把我送出门之后，我看到这个小伙计已软瘫在一边，吓得要死。今天算是我第一次真正体验到了金钱的伟大力量，即使是特拉布的小伙计也大大失去了威风，自甘败北。

办完了这件值得纪念的大事之后，我又去了帽店、鞋店、袜店，感到自己就像儿歌中胡巴德妈妈的狗，为了一套行装不得不找许多行业请教。我还到驿站去定下了星期六早晨七时发出的马车座次。每到一处都告诉人家我有了一笔财产当然没有必要，但是只要我一说到这件事，店里的老板便立刻收口眼光，不再从窗户中望着大街出神了，而一味地集中心思招呼我。我订购完所需要的一切东西之后，便直接去彭波契克先生的店铺。一到达这位先生的商号，我便一眼看到他正站在门口。

他正等着我去，看上去已很不耐烦了。他一大早就乘了马车到过我家的铁匠铺，听说了我的新闻，早就在他那间演过《乔治·巴恩威尔》的客厅中准备了茶点。在我这个神圣的人物走进客厅时，甚至于他也居然对店堂中的伙计命令道：“走开，不要挡住路！”

“我亲爱的朋友，”彭波契克先生紧紧地抓住我的双手，这时客厅中只剩下他和我以及茶点，“你有了远大前途，我向你祝贺。这是本该所得，本该所得。”

他的话正说到点子上，我想他可谓是个聪明人，聪明地表达了自己的看法。

彭波契克先生哼着鼻子说了几句对我羡慕的话后，说道：“现在想起来，我当初任劳任怨地尽犬马之劳，总算把你领向一条大路，通向了远大前程，我真感到不胜荣幸。”

我请求彭波契克先生务必要记住，不要再提及此事，连暗示也不行。

“我亲爱的年轻朋友，”彭波契克先生说道，“如果你允许我这样称呼你——”

我喃喃地说：“当然可以。”接着，彭波契克先生又抓起我的双手，紧紧地握着、摇着，使他的背心也起伏起来，看上去他真像是动了真情，虽然这起伏的部位低了些。“我亲爱的年轻朋友，请你放心，你走之后我自会竭尽微力让约瑟夫记住这件事——噢，约瑟夫！”彭波契克先生用一种带有怜悯的起誓口吻说道，“约瑟夫！约瑟夫！”他一面摇头，一面用手敲着脑袋，以此来表示他完全了解约瑟夫的缺陷。

“不过，我亲爱的年轻朋友，”彭波契克先生说道，“你一定饿坏了，也一定累坏了。坐下，坐下。这只童子鸡是从蓝野猪饭店买来的，这块舌头是从蓝野猪饭店买来的，这一两种小吃也是从蓝野猪饭店买来的，我希望你不致嫌弃。不过，”彭波契克先生说到这里，又从刚坐上去的椅子上站了起来，“我看到这位坐在我面前的贵人，记得在他幸福的童年时我挺喜欢和他逗着玩，我能否——我能否——？”

他说的这个“我能否”是指能否和我握手。我自然同意。于是，他便热情地握起手来，握后重归于座。

“这里有酒，”彭波契克先生说道，“我们来饮酒，我们来向命运女神表示谢意，但愿她每一次都像这一次一样公允地挑选她的宠儿。”说到这里，彭波契克先生又一次站起来，说道：“我看到这位宠儿在我面前，我举杯向他祝酒，这时我就不得不想到要再一次表明我的心愿，我能否——我能否——？”

我说他能，于是他再一次和我握手，然后端起酒杯一饮而尽，又把酒杯底朝天地翻起。我也效仿他干杯并将杯底朝天。要是我在干杯之前先来个头手倒立，酒就不会一饮进去就直冲头顶，使我昏头转向了。

彭波契克先生把翅夹肝给我吃，把最佳的舌头片给我吃，再不像从前那样总把那些别人不要吃的地方给我吃。比起以往来，今天他对自己也就不那么照顾了。这时，彭波契克先生像作诗一样对着盘子中的鸡大声朗诵起来：“噢鸡啊鸡啊！在你还是刚生羽毛的雏儿时，你怎么会想到自己为谁而准备，你怎么会想到今日在我的寒酸之舍成为——如果你乐意，就把它称为我的毛病吧。”说到这里，彭波契克先生又站了起来，“可是我能否——我能否——？”

于是也没有必要等我重复那种例行的同意之辞，他立即就和我握起手来。我真奇怪，怎么他几次激动地和我握手，我手中的餐刀竟然没有割破他的手。

他稳稳当当地吃了几口，又说道：“再说你的姐姐，她真荣幸把你一手领大！不过想想现在她也太可怜了，不能充分享受这份荣幸。我能否——”

我看到他又想过来弄老花样，便打断了他。

“我们为她的健康而干杯吧。”我说道。

“喔！”彭波契克先生叫道，向椅子背上靠了一下，这一阵赞叹已把他弄得疲惫不堪，“这才算懂得情意，先生！”（我实在不清楚他说的“先生”指谁，但肯定不是指我，不过也没有第三个人在场啊。）“这才算懂得情谊，才算是个有高尚情操的君子，先生！你永远是那么谅解人，永远那么谦虚和蔼。”这位天生卑躬屈膝的彭波契克赶忙放下还没有沾上嘴唇的酒杯，又站了起来说道：“对于我这个普通的人，如果能重复我的老毛病——我能否——？”

他和我热情地握过手后，重新回到座位上，然后为我姐姐干杯。“至于你姐姐火气大这个缺点，”彭波契克先生对我说道，“我们也都是看到的，不过她的用意还是好的。”

这时，我开始注意到他的面孔正慢慢地红起来，而我自己呢，也感到整张面孔如泡在酒里一样，刺痛不已。

我告诉彭波契克先生，我的新衣服做好后准备先送到他这里。他一听我这么说，真是高兴得神魂颠倒，说我瞧得起他。我又告诉他，把衣服先放在这里是为了避免村子里面的人议论，于是他又赞美我，把我简直捧到了天上。他说，除了他之外，其他的人都不值得我信任，总而言之，又是他的老毛病，他能否？然后他又温和地问我，是不是还回忆得起童年的事，那一起算数字的游戏，那大家一起到法院去订师徒合同的事，其实他只不过想问我记不记得他这位最诚挚情谊的朋友以及和他一起交往的美好情景。即使我刚才喝了比实际上多出十倍的酒，我也清楚地知道他绝不是我诚挚情谊的朋友，在我内心的深处对他的这种想法深恶痛绝。不过，我虽然那么想，可我的情感还是有了变化。我想，过去我对他有过多的成见，其实他倒是一位通情达理、讲究实际、有一片好心肠的第一流正人君子。

他现在越来越倚重我、相信我了，甚至关于他自己的事务他也请我作些指教。他说目前有一个好机会，如果把粮食买卖和种子生意合并起来做，再扩大一些门面，他就可以施行生意上的垄断，他这种做法无论在附近的哪个地方都从来没有用过。他考虑只要扩大资本，一定可以实现发财的理想，无疑，这里的“扩大资本”四个字最为重要。现在，对他彭波契克来说，只要这增加的资本一到位，不管哪一个人投资他都可以让其做一个不出面的合伙人，所谓不出面的合伙人，是指什么事都不要干，只要其本人或代理人在高兴的时候来一下，翻一下账本，便可以一年两次，把高达百分之五十的利息一古脑儿塞进口袋里。他认为，对于一位有志向、有资产的年轻绅士来说，这是一个开拓事业的好机会，值得考虑。但是，我的心意如何？他十分看重我的意见，想听听我的想法。我告诉他我的意见是“等一等再说！”我的这句话不仅意义博大精深，而且说得也明确具体，他听后大有感触，所以连问也没问便来和我握手，而且说他一定要和我握手，于是他真的这样做了。

我们把全部的酒都喝光了，彭波契克先生一次又一次地向我作出保证，一定使约瑟夫达到标准（我不明白是什么标准），而且他还要有效地随时为我服务（我不明白是什么服务）。他还向我表白了他的心思，这是我有生以来第一次听到他这么说，因为他将这秘密保存得极好。那就是只要一提到我，他总是说“这孩子可是个不寻常的孩子，依我看，他的运气也会是不寻常的好运。”他眼含泪花，微笑着说，现在想起来这真是一件非凡的事，我也说这事真是非凡。最后，我告别离开，走到外面，迷迷糊糊地感到，好像这日光也和往常不太一样。我胡乱举步，不辨方向，昏昏欲睡之中竟已来到了关卡。

恍惚中，我被彭波契克先生的叫唤声惊得清醒了一些。他在阳光满照的街上远远地正向我做着各种手势，示意我停下来，随后上气不接下气地跑了过来。

“不能这样，我的亲爱的朋友，”他刚刚缓过气来便说道，“我可不能忍受。这一大好时光不可完全虚度，你也得表现表现你的和蔼可亲啊。作为你的老朋友，作为你的祝福者，我能否——我能否——？

我们于是热烈握手，这至少是第一百次了。然后，他又喊着一位年轻的车夫不要挡我的道，那样子真像凶神恶煞似的。最后，他又向我祝福，站在那里向我摇手告别，一直到我在路边转弯为止。我转进田地，在一道树篱下睡了好一阵，这才站起来拔脚回家。

我要带到伦敦去的行李是很少的。本来我的东西就少，而适合于这新身份的可用之物就更少了。可是我总在担心着，觉得时间要抓紧，一分一秒也不能耽搁，所以当天下午便开始打行李，既忙乱又鲁莽，把明天上午还用得着的东西一古脑儿打在了一起。

星期二，星期三，星期四，就这样匆匆逝去。星期五上午，我前往彭波契克先生的家，准备换上新衣服去访问郝维仙小姐。彭波契克先生把他自己的房间让给我换衣服，还在房中为了我的大事特地放了几条干净毛巾。当然，这套新衣服也给我带来了一些失望情绪。也许自从有了衣服以来，每一件备受渴求盼望的新衣服穿上身后，穿衣的人多少会感到和自己的希求相比，总有些美中不足。我换上了新衣服之后，便站在彭波契克先生那面很有限的穿衣镜前照来照去，并摆出各式各样的姿态，为了看一看自己的那双腿，结果却是白费力气。如此看了足有半个小时，才感觉衣服合身了一些。这天刚好碰上附近的一个镇子赶早集，离这儿有十英里路，所以彭波契克先生出去了。因为我没有告诉他我准备离开的确定时间，所以在离开前也就不太可能和他再一次握手了。我觉得这样更好，于是便在新装包裹下出发了。我担心的是在店门口会遇到那个店里的伙计，会感到难为情，疑心自己会像乔在礼拜天穿起礼服一样，处处感到碍手碍脚地不自在。

我从后街小巷穿来绕去地到了郝维仙小姐的家。由于我手套的指头太长，而且很硬，按起门铃来就颇不方便。莎娜·鄱凯特来开门，一眼看到我完全变了样子，吃惊得直向后退。她那胡桃壳般的面容从棕色变得青黄相间，显得不知所措。

“是你？”她说道，“是你？老天爷啊！你要干什么？”

“鄱凯特小姐，我就要到伦敦去了，”我说道，“这次来是向郝维仙小姐道别的。”

因为我来得突然，她锁上门后就把我留在院子里，她要上去禀报一声，看是否同意见我。没有一会儿，她就回来了。在领我上楼的一路上，她都睁大眼睛瞅着我。

郝维仙小姐正在锻炼，拄着丁字形拐杖在放着那张长桌的房间中走着。房间像以往一样用昏黄的烛光照明。听到鄱凯特进去的声音，她便停下步子回过头来，正好就在那块发霉的结婚蛋糕的旁边。

“莎娜，你别走。”她说道，“怎么了。皮普？”

“郝维仙小姐，明天我要到伦敦去了，”我说话时把每个词都说得很清楚，“这次来是向您辞行的，我想您不会介意吧。”

“皮普，你今天穿得漂漂亮亮，像个人了。”说着，她拿了字拐杖在我身边挥了几圈，仿佛她是我的仙国教母，施展法术使我变了样，现在正在施行最后一道法术。

“上次我见到您之后，就遇到了好运气，郝维仙小姐，”我低声地说着，“为此我是怀着十分感激之情的，郝维仙小姐。”

“嗳，嗳！”她非常愉悦地看着那个有些狼狈而又心存妒忌的莎娜，说道，“皮普，我已见到了贾格斯先生，他都告诉我了。你明天就启程吗？”

“是的，郝维仙小姐。”

“你过继给一户有钱的人家了吗？”

“是的，郝维仙小姐。”

“没有透露姓名吗？”

“没有，郝维仙小姐。”

“贾格斯先生被指定做你的监护人吗？”

“是的，郝维仙小姐。”

她对这些回答显然非常满意，看到莎娜妒忌的狼狈样子更显得开心。“好得很！”她继续说道，“摆在你面前的是一条锦绣之路，你要好好干一一会有前途的——要听贾格斯先生的教导。”她看看我，又看看莎娜，莎娜的表情使她那专注的脸上掠过一丝狞笑。“皮普，再见！你知道，你要永远用皮普这个名字。”

“我知道，郝维仙小姐。”

“皮普，再见。”

她把手伸向我，于是我屈下一膝，把她的手放在嘴唇上吻了一下。虽然本来我并没有考虑过怎样向她告别，但我灵机一动想到了这个吻手告别礼，于是就这样做了。她用怪异骇人的眼睛得意非凡地望着莎娜·鄱凯特。我就在这种情况下告别了我的仙国教母，而她这时正用双手拄着丁字拐杖，站在烛光昏暗的房屋中间，旁边放着那块发霉的结婚蛋糕，上面结满了蜘蛛网。

莎娜·鄱凯特领我下楼，就好像我是个鬼怪一样把我送出了门。她对于我这副外表真有点不可接受，甚至于给搞得糊里糊涂。在我对她说“再见，鄱凯特小姐”时，她只是睁着眼睛瞪着我，似乎还没有从迷糊中清醒过来，也没有意识到我对她说过再见了。一离开这座宅邸，我便飞快地奔回彭波契克的家，脱掉新衣服，扎在一个小包里，换上旧衣服，赶忙回家。说句老实话，虽然这时手上多拿了一个小包，走起路来却显得自由多了。

本来以为六天的日子相当难打发，而现在却是很快地全都过去了。明天正在堂而皇之地瞅着我，而我却不敢用正眼去看明天。六个夜晚也慢慢地减少到五个晚上，四个晚上，三个晚上，两个晚上，我也愈来愈感到和乔及毕蒂相处的日子是多么难得，多么值得珍惜。最后一个夜晚，为了让他们高兴，我特地换上新衣，真是光彩夺目，和他们一直坐守到入睡时分。其间，我们吃了一顿热气腾腾的晚餐，烤鸡为晚餐增色不少，还有甜啤酒助兴。看上去我们都兴高采烈，其实全是虚假的伪装，大家的心情全都非常沉重。

明天早晨五时，我就要拎着那只小巧的手提旅行皮箱离开小村庄。我已经叮嘱过乔，我只想一个人独自前往驿站，不要他相送。我心里惶惶不安——十分惶惶不安 ——我之所以这么做是出于这样一种考虑，要是乔和我一同去驿站，在我们两人之间必然有着明显的差异。当时，我还在心中自己骗自己，说我没有这种卑鄙的用心。可是当我在最后一餐晚饭后，一步踏进我的楼顶小屋时，忽然天良发现，一阵冲动逼使我想回去恳求乔，明日清晨送我上驿站。然而最终，我还是没去。

整夜在断断续续的睡眠中我似乎总是乘坐马车，它忽而带我到这里，忽而带我到那里，就是不驶往伦敦。那些驾车的动物也换来换去，忽而是狗，忽而是猫，忽而是猪，忽而是人，就是没有马。奇异怪诞的梦境连续不断、变换无常，直到天色微明，百鸟开始晨唱。于是我起身穿衣，刚穿好一半，便坐在窗口，对窗外的风景作最后的眺望，不知不觉在眺望中又进入了梦乡。

毕蒂很早便起身为我准备早餐。虽然我在窗口小睡，其实不到一小时我就闻到厨房中飘来的煤烟气，吃惊不小，以为现在已是黄昏。听到厨房里又传来杯盘的叮当声，我把一切都准备好，可是过了好久，还是下不了决心下楼。我依然留在楼上，把皮箱的锁打开，把皮箱的带子松开，然后再锁上皮箱，捆好皮箱的带子，就这样翻来覆去弄了好几次，直到毕蒂来叫我，说时间不早了，我才下楼。

这一顿早餐吃得匆匆忙忙，究竟是什么滋味也不知道。吃毕从桌边站起，我感到一阵轻松，好像突然又想起了一件事情，便说道：“唔！我该向大家告别！”于是，我便向我姐姐吻别。她正坐在通常坐的那张图椅上，向我笑着，头不断地点着、摇着。然后，我向毕蒂吻别，接着又用两条臂膀搂着乔的脖子。最后，我提上旅行皮箱出门而去。我走出没有几步，忽然听到背后有一阵杂沓的声音。我回头望去，看到乔向我掷来一只旧鞋，接着毕蒂又向我掷来另一只旧鞋。我停步向他们挥帽表示谢意，亲爱的老朋友乔挥动着高举过头顶的那只强壮右臂，用嘶哑的声音喊道：“乌拉！”而毕蒂则偷偷地把围裙遮在了面孔上。这便是我离家时最后看到他们的情景。

我跨着大步向前走着，一面走一面想，这一次出门比我