Chapter 35

IT was the first time that a grave had opened in my road of life, and the gap it made in the smooth ground was wonderful. The figure of my sister in her chair by the kitchen fire, haunted me night and day. That the place could possibly be, without her, was something my mind seemed unable to compass; and whereas she had seldom or never been in my thoughts of late, I had now the strangest ideas that she was coming towards me in the street, or that she would presently knock at the door. In my rooms too, with which she had never been at all associated, there was at once the blankness of death and a perpetual suggestion of the sound of her voice or the turn of her face or figure, as if she were still alive and had been often there.
Whatever my fortunes might have been, I could scarcely have recalled my sister with much tenderness. But I suppose there is a shock of regret which may exist without much tenderness. Under its influence (and perhaps to make up for the want of the softer feeling) I was seized with a violent indignation against the assailant from whom she had suffered so much; and I felt that on sufficient proof I could have revengefully pursued Orlick, or any one else, to the last extremity.

Having written to Joe, to offer consolation, and to assure him that I should come to the funeral, I passed the intermediate days in the curious state of mind I have glanced at. I went down early in the morning, and alighted at the Blue Boar in good time to walk over to the forge.

It was fine summer weather again, and, as I walked along, the times when I was a little helpless creature, and my sister did not spare me, vividly returned. But they returned with a gentle tone upon them that softened even the edge of Tickler. For now, the very breath of the beans and clover whispered to my heart that the day must come when it would be well for my memory that others walking in the sunshine should be softened as they thought of me.

At last I came within sight of the house, and saw that Trabb and Co. had put in a funereal execution and taken possession. Two dismally absurd persons, each ostentatiously exhibiting a crutch done up in a black bandage - as if that instrument could possibly communicate any comfort to anybody - were posted at the front door; and in one of them I recognized a postboy discharged from the Boar for turning a young couple into a sawpit on their bridal morning, in consequence of intoxication rendering it necessary for him to ride his horse clasped round the neck with both arms. All the children of the village, and most of the women, were admiring these sable warders and the closed windows of the house and forge; and as I came up, one of the two warders (the postboy) knocked at the door - implying that I was far too much exhausted by grief, to have strength remaining to knock for myself.

Another sable warder (a carpenter, who had once eaten two geese for a wager) opened the door, and showed me into the best parlour. Here, Mr Trabb had taken unto himself the best table, and had got all the leaves up, and was holding a kind of black Bazaar, with the aid of a quantity of black pins. At the moment of my arrival, he had just finished putting somebody's hat into black long-clothes, like an African baby; so he held out his hand for mine. But I, misled by the action, and confused by the occasion, shook hands with him with every testimony of warm affection.

Poor dear Joe, entangled in a little black cloak tied in a large bow under his chin, was seated apart at the upper end of the room; where, as chief mourner, he had evidently been stationed by Trabb. When I bent down and said to him, `Dear Joe, how are you?' he said, `Pip, old chap, you knowed her when she were a fine figure of a--' and clasped my hand and said no more.

Biddy, looking very neat and modest in her black dress, went quietly here and there, and was very helpful. When I had spoken to Biddy, as I thought it not a time for talking I went and sat down near Joe, and there began to wonder in what part of the house it - she - my sister - was. The air of the parlour being faint with the smell of sweet cake, I looked about for the table of refreshments; it was scarcely visible until one had got accustomed to the gloom, but there was a cut-up plum-cake upon it, and there were cut-up oranges, and sandwiches, and biscuits, and two decanters that I knew very well as ornaments, but had never seen used in all my life; one full of port, and one of sherry. Standing at this table, I became conscious of the servile Pumblechook in a black cloak and several yards of hatband, who was alternately stuffing himself, and making obsequious movements to catch my attention. The moment he succeeded, he came over to me (breathing sherry and crumbs), and said in a subdued voice, `May I, dear sir?' and did. I then descried Mr and Mrs Hubble; the last-named in a decent speechless paroxysm in a corner. We were all going to `follow,' and were all in course of being tied up separately (by Trabb) into ridiculous bundles.

`Which I meantersay, Pip,' Joe whispered me, as we were being what Mr Trabb called `formed' in the parlour, two and two - and it was dreadfully like a preparation for some grim kind of dance; `which I meantersay, sir, as I would in preference have carried her to the church myself, along with three or four friendly ones wot come to it with willing harts and arms, but it were considered wot the neighbours would look down on such and would be of opinions as it were wanting in respect.'

`Pocket-handkerchiefs out, all!' cried Mr Trabb at this point, in a depressed business-like voice. `Pocket-handkerchiefs out! We are ready!'

So, we all put our pocket-handkerchiefs to our faces, as if our noses were bleeding, and filed out two and two; Joe and I; Biddy and Pumblechook; Mr and Mrs Hubble. The remains of my poor sister had been brought round by the kitchen door, and, it being a point of Undertaking ceremony that the six bearers must be stifled and blinded under a horrible black velvet housing with a white border, the whole looked like a blind monster with twelve human legs, shuffling and blundering along, under the guidance of two keepers - the postboy and his comrade.

The neighbourhood, however, highly approved of these arrangements, and we were much admired as we went through the village; the more youthful and vigorous part of the community making dashes now and then to cut us off, and lying in wait to intercept us at points of vantage. At such times the more exuberant among them called out in an excited manner on our emergence round some corner of expectancy, `Here they come!' `Here they are!' and we were all but cheered. In this progress I was much annoyed by the abject Pumblechook, who, being behind me, persisted all the way as a delicate attention in arranging my streaming hatband, and smoothing my cloak. My thoughts were further distracted by the excessive pride of Mr and Mrs Hubble, who were surpassingly conceited and vainglorious in being members of so distinguished a procession.

And now, the range of marshes lay clear before us, with the sails of the ships on the river growing out of it; and we went into the churchyard, close to the graves of my unknown parents, Philip Pirrip, late of this parish, and Also Georgiana, Wife of the Above. And there, my sister was laid quietly in the earth while the larks sang high above it, and the light wind strewed it with beautiful shadows of clouds and trees.

Of the conduct of the worldly-minded Pumblechook while this was doing, I desire to say no more than it was all addressed to me; and that even when those noble passages were read which remind humanity how it brought nothing into the world and can take nothing out, and how it fleeth like a shadow and never continueth long in one stay, I heard him cough a reservation of the case of a young gentleman who came unexpectedly into large property. When we got back, he had the hardihood to tell me that he wished my sister could have known I had done her so much honour, and to hint that she would have considered it reasonably purchased at the price of her death. After that, he drank all the rest of the sherry, and Mr Hubble drank the port, and the two talked (which I have since observed to be customary in such cases) as if they were of quite another race from the deceased, and were notoriously immortal. Finally, he went away with Mr and Mrs Hubble - to make an evening of it, I felt sure, and to tell the Jolly Bargemen that he was the founder of my fortunes and my earliest benefactor.

When they were all gone, and when Trabb and his men - but not his boy: I looked for him - had crammed their mummery into bags, and were gone too, the house felt wholesomer. Soon afterwards, Biddy, Joe, and I, had a cold dinner together; but we dined in the best parlour, not in the old kitchen, and Joe was so exceedingly particular what he did with his knife and fork and the saltcellar and what not, that there was great restraint upon us. But after dinner, when I made him take his pipe, and when I had loitered with him about the forge, and when we sat down together on the great block of stone outside it, we got on better. I noticed that after the funeral Joe changed his clothes so far, as to make a compromise between his Sunday dress and working dress: in which the dear fellow looked natural, and like the Man he was.

He was very much pleased by my asking if I might sleep in my own little room, and I was pleased too; for, I felt that I had done rather a great thing in making the request. When the shadows of evening were closing in, I took an opportunity of getting into the garden with Biddy for a little talk.

`Biddy,' said I, `I think you might have written to me about these sad matters.'

`Do you, Mr Pip?' said Biddy. `I should have written if I had thought that.'

`Don't suppose that I mean to be unkind, Biddy, when I say I consider that you ought to have thought that.'

`Do you, Mr Pip?'

She was so quiet, and had such an orderly, good, and pretty way with her, that I did not like the thought of making her cry again. After looking a little at her downcast eyes as she walked beside me, I gave up that point.

`I suppose it will be difficult for you to remain here now, Biddy dear?'

`Oh! I can't do so, Mr Pip,' said Biddy, in a tone of regret, but still of quiet conviction. `I have been speaking to Mrs Hubble, and I am going to her to-morrow. I hope we shall be able to take some care of Mr Gargery, together, until he settles down.'

`How are you going to live, Biddy? If you want any mo--'

`How am I going to live?' repeated Biddy, striking in, with a momentary flush upon her face. `I'll tell you, Mr Pip. I am going to try to get the place of mistress in the new school nearly finished here. I can be well recommended by all the neighbours, and I hope I can be industrious and patient, and teach myself while I teach others. You know, Mr Pip,' pursued Biddy, with a smile, as she raised her eyes to my face, `the new schools are not like the old, but I learnt a good deal from you after that time, and have had time since then to improve.'

`I think you would always improve, Biddy, under any circumstances.'

`Ah! Except in my bad side of human nature,' murmured Biddy.

It was not so much a reproach, as an irresistible thinking aloud. Well! I thought I would give up that point too. So, I walked a little further with Biddy, looking silently at her downcast eyes.

`I have not heard the particulars of my sister's death, Biddy.'

`They are very slight, poor thing. She had been in one of her bad states - though they had got better of late, rather than worse - for four days, when she came out of it in the evening, just at teatime, and said quite plainly, "Joe." As she had never said any word for a long while, I ran and fetched in Mr Gargery from the forge. She made signs to me that she wanted him to sit down close to her, and wanted me to put her arms round his neck. So I put them round his neck, and she laid her head down on his shoulder quite content and satisfied. And so she presently said "Joe" again, and once "Pardon," and once "Pip." And so she never lifted her head up any more, and it was just an hour later when we laid it down on her own bed, because we found she was gone.'

Biddy cried; the darkening garden, and the lane, and the stars that were coming out, were blurred in my own sight.

`Nothing was ever discovered, Biddy?'

`Nothing.'

`Do you know what is become of Orlick?'

`I should think from the colour of his clothes that he is working in the quarries.'

`Of course you have seen him then? - Why are you looking at that dark tree in the lane?'

`I saw him there, on the night she died.'

`That was not the last time either, Biddy?'

`No; I have seen him there, since we have been walking here. - It is of no use,' said Biddy, laying her hand upon my arm, as I was for running out, `you know I would not deceive you; he was not there a minute, and he is gone.'

It revived my utmost indignation to find that she was still pursued by this fellow, and I felt inveterate against him. I told her so, and told her that I would spend any money or take any pains to drive him out of that country. By degrees she led me into more temperate talk, and she told me how Joe loved me, and how Joe never complained of anything - she didn't say, of me; she had no need; I knew what she meant - but ever did his duty in his way of life, with a strong hand, quiet tonguè, and a gentle heart.

`Indeed, it would be hard to say too much for him,' said I; `and Biddy, we must often speak of these things, for of course I shall be often down here now. I am not going to leave poor Joe alone.'

Biddy said never a single word.

`Biddy, don't you hear me?'

`Yes, Mr Pip.'

`Not to mention your calling me Mr Pip - which appears to me to be in bad taste, Biddy - what do you mean?'

`What do I mean?' asked Biddy, timidly.

`Biddy,' said I, in a virtuously self-asserting manner, `I must request to know what you mean by this?'

`By this?' said Biddy.

`Now, don't echo,' I retorted. `You used not to echo, Biddy.'

`Used not!' said Biddy. `O Mr Pip! Used!'

Well! I rather thought I would give up that point too. After another silent turn in the garden, I fell back on the main position.

`Biddy,' said I, `I made a remark respecting my coming down here often, to see Joe, which you received with a marked silence. Have the goodness, Biddy, to tell me why.'

`Are you quite sure, then, that you WILL come to see him often?' asked Biddy, stopping in the narrow garden walk, and looking at me under the stars with a clear and honest eye.

`Oh dear me!' said I, as if I found myself compelled to give up Biddy in despair. `This really is a very bad side of human nature!Don't say any more, if you please, Biddy. This shocks me very much.'

For which cogent reason I kept Biddy at a distance during supper, and, when I went up to my own old little room, took as stately a leave of her as I could, in my murmuring soul, deem reconcilable with the churchyard and the event of the day. As often as I was restless in the night, and that was every quarter of an hour, I reflected what an unkindness, what an injury, what an injustice, Biddy had done me.

Early in the morning, I was to go. Early in the morning, I was out, and looking in, unseen, at one of the wooden windows of the forge. There I stood, for minutes, looking at Joe, already at work with a glow of health and strength upon his face that made it show as if the bright sun of the life in store for him were shining on it.

`Good-bye, dear Joe! - No, don't wipe it off - for God's sake, give me your blackened hand! - I shall be down soon, and often.'

`Never too soon, sir,' said Joe, `and never too often, Pip!'

Biddy was waiting for me at the kitchen door, with a mug of new milk and a crust of bread. `Biddy,' said I, when I gave her my hand at parting, `I am not angry, but I am hurt.'

`No, don't be hurt,' she pleaded quite pathetically; `let only me be hurt, if I have been ungenerous.'

Once more, the mists were rising as I walked away. If they disclosed to me, as I suspect they did, that I should not come back, and that Biddy was quite right, all I can say is - they were quite right too.

 

这是我在人生的道路上第一次遇到掘墓这种事，这在平平坦坦的大地上掘开的一个坟墓使我感到惊奇不解。那老屋灶间圈椅上我姐姐的形象日日夜夜在我脑际间旋转。老屋灶间怎么可能没有她，对于这件事在我的心中几乎无法想象。尽管这段时间以来她很少或者根本没有进入过我的思想，而现在我却出现了奇怪的念头，好像她在街上正向着我走来，或者她一会儿就会来敲我的房门。虽然她从来没有走进过我的屋子，可是在我的房间中好像立刻笼罩了一片死亡的茫然感，而且总是响起她的声音，出现她的音容笑貌，仿佛她依然活在人间，时常来我这儿照看我。

不管我的命运如何，我总是无法用姐弟的柔情来回忆起她；可是，虽然我们之间没有深刻的姐弟柔情，但她的离去仍然令我震惊。这也使我想起那个伤害我姐姐，使她忍受痛苦的凶手，也许对他表示狂暴的愤怒，可以作为对缺乏的柔情的一个弥补吧。我想，如果早就有充足的证据证明凶手就是奥立克或其他什么人，我也早就报仇雪恨，和他拼个你死我活了。

我先写了一封信给乔，表明我内心的哀痛，并告诉他届时我一定前去送殡。然后，我怀着极其奇怪的心情度过了这难以熬过的几天。出发的那一天，一大早我便登上马车，在蓝野猪饭店下车，由于时间充裕，我便向铁匠铺步行而去。

这是一个晴朗美好的夏季，我向前走去，小时候凄苦无助时，我姐姐对我凶狠霸道的情景又栩栩如生地涌上了心头。不过，这些往事，如今回忆起来，别有一番柔情，那根痛打我的呵痒棍似乎也变得软弱无力了。我走在田野上，那大豆和悉悉索索的声音，好像在我心头低语，那一天总会来到，也许会有人也踩着晴朗美好的夏季田野去为我送葬，他们想到我的为人，但愿心肠也能从恨向爱软化下来。

终于路途走完，老屋又出现在眼前，只见特拉布成衣公司正在料理出殡事宜。两位神情悲伤、形象怪异的人守在大门口，各人手执一根哭丧棍，上面都裹着黑纱，好像能使奔丧的人心情宽慰，节哀顺变。其中有一个人我一眼便认了出来，是蓝野猪饭店开除掉的马车夫。因为有一次一对新婚夫妻早晨行过婚礼乘他的马车，结果他却吃得醉醺醺的，驾驶马车时感到不稳，便用两条手臂抱住马脖子，结果把这对新婚夫妇摔进了锯木坑里，所以受到了解雇的惩罚。村中所有的孩子们和大部分妇女们都对这两个穿孝的守门人和老屋及铁匠铺紧闭的门窗感到兴趣，赞叹不绝。等我走到门口时，两位守门人中的那位马车夫就为我敲门，这表示我因为过分的哀伤而无力自己敲门，所以让他们来代劳。

另一位穿丧服的守门人本来是个木匠，据说他曾和别人打赌，一气能吃进两只鹅。他开了门，把我引进那间最好的会客室。特拉布先生正在那张最好的桌子旁边忙着，桌子的活动板都给装上了，而且被布置得像一个黑色丧服摊一样，铺上黑布，还用了大量的黑别针。在我进来的时候，他刚刚给一个人的帽子上缠好黑布，缠得活像一个非洲婴儿。他一看到我便把手伸了过来，接我的帽子。我弄错了他的这一动作，况且在这个场面上我尴尬得不知所措，于是竞非常热烈亲切地和他握起手来。

可怜的亲爱的乔，身上披着一件小小的黑斗篷，下巴下面扎了一朵大的黑蝴蝶结，正孤苦一人坐在房间的上首。这个最主要的伤心人的席位无疑是由特拉布指定的。于是，我俯下身来对他说：“亲爱的乔，你好吗？”他答道：“皮普，我的老弟，你晓得她的，她本来是个挺漂亮的——”说到这里他抓住我的手，便再也说不下去了。

毕蒂穿了件黑色丧服，看上去十分整洁贤静，一忽儿这里忙，一忽儿那里忙，是个很得力的帮手。我和她打了招呼，觉得当前不是讲话的时刻，于是便走到乔那里，坐在他的旁边。我诧异地用眼睛搜索着它——我姐姐的遗体究竟放在这屋子的哪里。会客室中散发出一种淡淡的甜饼气息，我四面张望想找出放着糕饼的桌子。因为屋里光线很暗，我等到眼睛适应暗淡的光线后才看到，在桌子上面有一块切开的葡萄干蛋糕，旁边有几只切开的橙子、几只三明治和一些饼干，还放了两只有玻璃塞子的圆酒瓶——我过去知道这只是装饰品，从来没有看见用过，而今天，一瓶装了葡萄酒，另一瓶盛了雪莉酒。我站在桌子旁边，定了定神，才发现那个卑躬屈膝、奴隶性十足的彭波契克，穿了一件黑斗篷，上面的黑帽带飘下好几码长，一会儿塞点什么到嘴巴里，一会儿又对我做些奉承的动作，以引起我的注意。接着，他向我走过来，满嘴喷出酒气和饼屑味，用一种低低的声音对我说：“亲爱的先生，我能否——？”然后便和我握手。接着，我又看见了胡卜先生和夫人。这时，胡卜夫人正在一个角落里悲切得泣不成声，做得倒很得体。我们这些人都要跟在灵枢后面相送，所以特拉布要一个一个地给我们穿黑戴孝，进行滑稽可笑的包装。

特拉布先生要我们在会客室里排好队，每两个人一排，非常像准备去跳一场悲伤的死亡舞。这时乔低声地对我说：“皮普，我原先的意思是，先生，我原先打算由我一个人把她送到乡村教堂的公墓去，只要三四个素有交往的人帮帮忙就可以，但是邻居们议论纷纷，说我如此地敷衍了事，对死者不尊敬，邻居们会轻视我的。”

“全体拿出手帕！”特拉布先生这时有条不紊地用沉重的低音说道，“大家拿出手帕！我们准备出发！”

我们都掏出手帕捂在脸上，就好像我们的鼻子都在流血；我们都是两个两个一排，乔和我一排，毕蒂和彭波契克一排，胡卜先生和夫人一排。我可怜姐姐的遗体已经由厨房的那个门抬了出去，根据传统的殡葬礼仪，棺木由六个扛夫抬着，他们必须罩在一块很大的黑天鹅绒绣白边的棺布下面，看上去就像一个长了十二条人腿的怪物，在由那位马夫和他的搭档组成的领葬人的导引下拖着脚步向前慢慢移动，跌跌冲冲，乱走乱撞。

邻居们对我们送葬队伍的安排倍加赞许，我们经过村庄时，他们更是赞不绝口；这一带年轻结实的小伙子时而这里，时而那里地乱冲乱撞，挡住我们的去路，或是抢占有利的地形等在那儿观看送葬队伍的经过。他们当中有些精力旺盛的人看到我们从他们等候的拐角出现时，便大为激动地高声叫喊：“他们向这里来了！”“他们来到这里了！”就差对我们欢呼了。在行列中，那个卑鄙下贱的彭波契克太使我厌烦了。他跟在我后面，一路上都想引起我的注意，一下子替我把帽子上的飘带整理一下，一会儿又把我的外衣抹抹平。另外胡卜先生和胡卜夫人也弄得我心烦意乱，他们的得意忘形和自负都到了不可言说的地步，参加如此轰轰烈烈的送葬队伍就觉得自己了不起了。

不久，一片沼泽地便清楚地出现在我们眼前，远处河上的船帆也清晰可见。我们的行列进入了乡村教堂的墓地，棺木停在我从未见过面的双亲的墓旁，墓上面写着本教区已故居民菲利普·皮里普及上述者之妻乔其雅娜之墓的字样。就在这儿，我的姐姐迅速地被安葬进墓穴，这时百灵鸟正在空中鸣唱不已，柔风徐来，点缀着云朵和树木的美丽阴影。

至于那位汲汲于名利的庸俗人物彭波契克的行为，我不打算过多叙述，只消说一句“他的言行全都是为了我”即可概括。正当牧师在诵读那几段高尚的祷文，提醒人们，“人生在世，无所带来，亦无所带去，逝去如影，不能长留”之时，我听到了彭波契克大声咳嗽，好像在说人间之事也有例外，就如这位年轻先生吧，就意想不到地得到一大笔财产。我们在葬礼完毕后回到家中，他竟然大言不惭地对我说，要是我姐姐活着能懂得我为她挣来多大的光荣，那有多好。他好像暗示要是我姐姐知道我为她挣来的光荣，她死也瞑目了。然后，他喝完了剩下来的全部雪莉酒，胡卜先生饮尽了其余的葡萄酒。他们一边饮酒，一边谈论，后来我才知道这本来是葬礼日的传统习俗。他们谈话的腔调就好像他们和死者截然不同，是另一个种族，是声名狼藉的老而不死之人。最后，他和胡卜先生及夫人终于离此而去。可以肯定，他是去了三个快乐的船夫酒店，在那几度过一晚，饮酒论自己，扮成我幸运的奠基人和早年的恩人。

他们走了以后，接着是特拉布一班人马（不过没有看到他的小伙计，我四处找也没有发现），收拾好那一套后台道具塞进袋子，也离开了这里，这座屋子才显得清淡舒适起来。一会儿后，毕蒂、乔和我一起吃了一顿冷冷清清的晚餐。我们在最好的那间会客室中晚餐，再不是在灶间里的老地方了。乔在用餐具时当心万分，不管是刀是叉是盐瓶还是什么都特别留神，这也不得不使我们都受到拘束。晚餐后我提醒乔燃起他的烟斗，然后陪他在铁匠铺四周散了一会儿步，回来坐在屋外的一块大石头上，这时我们的心情才得到缓解。我发现在送葬之后乔换了衣服，既不是做礼拜时穿的礼服，也不是打铁时的工作服，这样我的老伙计亲爱的乔自然得多了，回到了人的本来面目。

我问他我今晚是不是可以睡在我过去住的那间小屋中，他听了十分高兴。自然我也十分高兴，因为我能提出这一个要求就是一项非常了不起的事。

夜幕降临之际，我找了一个机会，和毕蒂一起到那座花园，做了一次简短的谈话。

“毕蒂，”我说道，“我想你早该写信告诉我发生的悲伤事情。”

“皮普先生，你这样想的吗？”毕蒂说道，“我要早想到这点，我也就一定早写信告诉你了。”

“毕蒂，我说我以为你该早想到这点，这里并没有什么不好的意思。”

“皮普先生，真这样吗？”

她贤淑文静，做事有板有眼，处处显出善良和可爱，我再不想找出什么话题使她大哭一场了。这时，她正和我并排而行，我望了一下她那颓丧的双眼，于是打消了继续说这个话题的念头。

“毕蒂，亲爱的，看来再在这儿待下去你有点困难了，是吗？”

“噢，皮普先生，我不能待在这儿了，”毕蒂带着抱歉的口吻说道，不过十分自信，“我已经和胡卜夫人说妥了，明天我就到她家中去。我希望我们两人一起还能对葛奇里先生有所照顾，让他能够安顿下来。”

“毕蒂，你今后打算怎么过呢？假使你手头缺——”

“我今后打算怎么过？”毕蒂重复了这句话，接着忽然脸上浮起一朵红云，并打断我的话说道，“那我告诉你，皮普先生，这里有一座新学校就要完工了，我争取到那里去谋求个教师的职业。所有的邻居都会尽力推荐我，我想我能勤劳耐心地在学校园地里耕耘，在教孩子的时候也可以学到许多东西。”她抬起眼睛望了我一下，微笑着继续说道：“新学校可不比老学校，内容也多了，幸而自从来到这里后从你那儿学到许多东西，而且自那以后我仍然在不断地上进。”

“毕蒂，在任何情况下，我想，你都在永远上进的。”

“噢！可是我有性格上的弱点。”毕蒂喃喃地说道。

她这句话不在于责备自己，而是用语言大声讲出了压在心头的思想。好吧！我想这个话题也不必再谈下去。我和毕蒂又向前走了一会儿，我继续默默地望着她那颓丧的双眼。

“毕蒂，我很想知道关于我姐姐去世的详细情况。”

“关于这位可怜的人也没有很多可说。近来，她的病体与其说恶化，不如说还有好转。不过，最后一次发病，她连续四天昏迷不醒，在一个黄昏时却突然苏醒过来，吃茶点时还清楚地叫了声‘乔’。因为她不能说话已经很久了，于是我连忙跑去把葛奇里先生从铁匠间中找来。她对我打手势说她要他坐得靠近她，又要我把她的两条臂膀扶着抱住乔的脖子，所以，我就扶起她的臂膀抱住乔的脖子。她把头搁在乔的肩头上，并感到满意和满足。过了一会儿，她又说了声‘乔’，接着又说‘请原谅’，又说‘皮普’。之后，她再没有把头抬起来。一个小时过后，我们发现她已经离世，便把她放在了床上。”

毕蒂说着哭了起来，于是幽黑的花园、园中的小径，以及刚刚浮现出来的星星，都在我的泪眼之前变得模糊一片。

“难道还没有一点线索吗？毕蒂。”

“还没有。”

“你知道奥立克现在怎样了？”

“从他衣服的颜色来看，我想他在采石坑中工作。”

“那么你当然是见到过他了？为什么你总是望着巷子中黑幽幽的树？”

“在她去世的那天晚上，奥立克就站在那里。”

“毕蒂，那也许不是你最后一次见到他吧？”

“不是。我们在这里散步的时候，我还见到他一直在那儿呢。”我听了她说的话便想跑过去，而毕蒂用手抓住我的手臂。“那也无用。你知道我不会骗你，他刚走一会儿，不再在那儿了。’”

这一来又使我胸中燃起无名之火，因为这个家伙至今仍然追着她，使我对他的仇恨更加深了。于是我告诉她不管花多少钱，不管费多大力气，我也要把他从这个乡下赶走。她劝慰我，慢慢地使我心平气和下来。她告诉我，乔是如何地爱护我，以及乔对我从来没有半句怨言（虽然这后一句她没有说出来，当然她也没有必要说，我明白她的心意），还说乔烙守自己的生活方式，手艺好，沉默少语，心地善良。

“真的，他的好处多得说不完。”我说道，“毕蒂，我们该时常谈到这些事情，自然，我以后会时常回来走动，我不能把可怜的乔丢在这里而不闻不问。”

毕蒂一句话也没有说。

“毕蒂，你听见我说的话吗？”

“听到了，皮普先生。”

“故且不提你叫我皮普先生，我听起来很不好受，毕蒂，这样，究竟什么意思？”

“我究竟什么意思？”毕蒂胆怯地反问道。

“毕蒂，”我任性地说道，“我一定要问个清楚，你这样究竟是什么意思？”

“什么这样？”毕蒂问道。

“用不着鹦鹉学舌，”我反驳道，“毕蒂，你过去也没有鹦鹉学舌的毛病。”

“过去没有！”毕蒂说道，“哦，皮普先生！过去的事还提什么！”

好吧，我想这个话题又不得不放弃了。我们在花园中又沉默地走了一圈，我又回到谈话的主题上去。

“毕蒂，”我说道，“我刚才提到我会时常回到这里看望乔，可是对此你一言不发。毕蒂，我看你发个慈悲，讲个明白，究竟为什么。”

“你说你会时常看他，那么你能肯定吗？”毕蒂停在花园的狭窄小径上，在星光下，用她清亮而又诚恳的眼光望着我问道。

“哦，天啦！”我发现我只有失望了，也只有放弃和毕蒂讨论这个问题了，于是说道，“这真正是人性的弱点！毕蒂，不用再说下去了。这对我可震惊不小。”

在晚餐时我以我那个令人信服的理由而和毕蒂疏远起来，后来我回到自己的那间小阁楼时也就堂而皇之地和她告别了。我在心中思忖着，我之所以这样是因为白天送葬到乡村教堂墓地而造成的。整个夜间我难以成眠，一个小时中会惊醒四次，每次都会想到毕蒂对我的行为是多么无情无义、残酷伤人、冤屈不公。

第二天一早我必得离开，所以次日清晨就起身出门，偷偷摸摸地不让别人看见，走到铁匠间的木窗口向里观望。我在那儿站了好几分钟，看到乔已经开始工作，脸上发出健康壮实的红光，仿佛生命的旭日就在他的面前，映照着他的面庞。

“亲爱的乔，再见！你不必擦手，为了上帝，把你的那只黑手递给我！我会很快回来看你，我会时常回来看你的。”

“先生，你可得快来，”乔说道，“皮普，你可得时常来！”

毕蒂正站在灶间门口等着我，手中拿着一杯鲜牛奶和一块面包皮。我把手伸给她，向她告别，说道：“毕蒂，我一点也不生气，只是有些痛苦。

“不，不要痛苦，”她感人楚楚地恳求道，“如果我胸襟狭小，就把痛苦留给我吧。”

我跨步走出，天上雾气又在消散着。我想，雾气向我揭示了一件事实，我也许再不会回来，毕蒂的预言绝顶正确，那么我所能说的只是一句话：雾的揭示也是绝顶正确的。